A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago, I met this guy off an online dating site. We automatically hit it off spent hours on the phone. When we finally met, we spent the whole night talking until six a.m. We ended up seeing each other for three consecutive dates talking to the morning. I felt comfortable enough going and hanging with him at his house. (Turns out we had a lot of mutual friends and acquaintances). After things became intimate, we seemed to grow even fonder of each other. For the next month or so we spoke everyday. We would hang out after work, we would make dinner. It was great, we were all over each other. Needless to say I fell hard and fast. I started to notice that the both of us started to pull away. One day, he said he would call me back and never did. We were very open about our lives, shared personal experiences, such as the deaths of our mothers. I thought we connected. I tried to call him and he never returned my call. A month after, I received a call from him. When I answered he hung up. He never called back. I was so overwhelmed with my job and hurt by the fact that he disappeared. I didn't try to call him. I let it go. I didn't want to do anything. I felt I'd done enough. Two months went by, I was dating many different men. I noticed that on the internet dating site he would look at my profile. I tried to move on. After dating many men with whom I felt nothing for I decided to send him a text, asking him about the phone call. He replied and said that he "wanted to apologize for how things ended". I tried to engage in more conversation. I said to him I would have listened to him and not have been mean to him. He neglected to respond to me. I didn't push it more. Two weeks after he "winks" at me on the site. I was away for a month, and when I did notice I sent him a text. (He always responded quickly). We ended up seeing each other that night. I asked him what his deal was. He couldn't respond to me. We ended up catching up at his home. I felt as if those five months didn't pass. I didn't want to attack him with questions b/c I knew how much I liked him. We ended up having an insane night of passionate intimacy. He couldn't get enough. The next morning. He looked at me and said I liked seeing you again. Please text me when you get home. Needless to say he disappeared on me. He said that things started to remind him of why we stopped talking. (???) Around New Years, we saw each other again. He was curious to know how things were going for me on the dating site. Wanted to know when I dated certain men that I mentioned. After spending another night with him, catching up and talking like we always did, ee said that he wanted to see me again. I knew that he didn't mean it. I know that he just wanted sex. Yes I know the truth. As devastated as I was and am, I've gone out and dated. I even fell for another guy. No matter what I do. I'm still so hurt. When I allow myself to think about this, I break into tears. HE KNOWS that I truly liked him. HE USED me to get sex from me. The way we spoke to each other after intimacy or even how we were intimately, there was kindness. I KNOW that he knows I'm the nice girl. I wouldn't have pinned him to be this much of a jerk. I don't understand why he can't tell me he's not interested in a relationship with me, but why he would want to lead me on? I don't know how to let this go. I've tried so much. I wish I could just tell him how he made me feel. I can't blame him for not wanting me, or for not making me his girlfriend. I can blame him for using me, knowing that I really liked him. YET I WOULD NEVER TELL HIM. About a month ago, I sent him a text that I wanted to see him. (I wanted to tell him how I felt.) A week later he responds saying he was sorry that he was away. Spent the whole day texting me then disappeared and ignored my last text. I think he should be able to tell him that he's with someone, or I'm sorry but I can't see this working? What do I do? If moving on hasn't helped. Do I have the right to say something? I WISH SO BAD that he would contact me so I can tell him how I feel. It's not fair to me what he did. Even when I'm with a guy I really like. It helps but I still suffer from this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionP.S. It wasn't because of the "SEX" that I went back to him. It was b/c I liked him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I know what it was, but I feel that he should know what he did was wrong. I felt that he knew it was wrong when it was happening but still pursued what he wanted. I can tell that he was conflicted. I just can't get over the pain if it. No matter who I'm with or how busy I am. I want to know a way to communicate that to him. I don't blame him for not wanting me but knowing what I wanted and used me.
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A
male
reader, tonythetiger123  +, writes (10 April 2011):
First thing I need to know, or more importantly you do is what do you want from this guy??? So if you do speak to him and you tell him 'u like him' what reaction are you looking for,, Sorry but as a cold hearted bastard of a man he/we will juts use this to our advantage to get sex etc etc out of you whenever we want.. he will play with your emotions COS HE ALREADY HAS just to get what he wants when he wants it.. So the guy can listen, so he is good in bed etc,,, is that the reality of this guy,, Look at what he is doing to you, do you think he is just going to change and be 100% into you if you tell him how u feel??? I know the heart wants what the heart wants but if you are not clear about what you expect maybe he is not getting the message??? My advice, if it means anything is to Get out, get on and drop him,, Hes gonna screw you over and all you are going to do is give him more chances to do it..
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