A
male
age
51-59,
*jhenhmla
writes:what do most older women 35 and above look for in a relationship ? the reason i ask is because i was involved with a women for 5 years she has (3) kid from pervisous relationships and i did also most everything for her but got nothing in return she came from an abusive relationship and i tired to uplift he by telling her to put money away for her and her kids but it seem like what ever i said she did the opposite. i mad a stable home for her and her kids but she still seemed unhappy. This was a long distance relationship but i was there almost every weekend. she helped with no of the bills. i tired speaking to her several times but she just shut down and would not talk or expressed how she felt this really got me upset it was like talking to a brick wall. we are no longer togehter but i fell like where did i go wrong. i tried being to make it work but she was unwilling to change.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): This is what happens when someone who's been abused refuses to work on their own issues.
Women in this position will dig their heals in and NEVER do what they're "told" to do, as they'll exert their own strength and not allow another to dominate them.
To your question, women over 35 look for a guy with:
1. A sense of humor, and a love of life
2. Self confidence
3. A direction, spirituality, (some may look for religion)
4. A sense of self
5. A career (not a job)
6. The ability to be spontaneous
7. A decent body, and a healthy sex life
8. Honesty, and integrity
9. few if any red flags (one divorce is ok, 4 is not, neither is 4 kids by 3 women, none of which are ex-wives).
10. A manageable amount of debt, but ideally very little to none.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Sounds like you tried to fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed. I think also, with the best intentions, you tried to buy her love.
To answer your question, however, each woman is different. Just be yourself and find someone who lives you for you, not because you pay her bills.
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