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What do I do with ridiculously cute new straight friend?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2022) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2022)
A male United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I am an openly gay 17m and I am very lucky to go to a school where there is a lot of acceptance and encouragement and I feel surrounded by allies. I was surprised especially how some of the notorious jocks and aggressively straight guys handled it. I think it says something about attitudes in my generation.

All my guy friends are straight and they deal with the awkward moments mostly with humor and have a running rant about which of them I am most attracted to which is actually funny and I play along like I am trying to make up my mind and they all act competitive about it. So I am used to straight friends acting weird.

They also push me to initiate things with guys I admit to liking just like they do with each other and girls they like. It is weird, funny, and awesome at the same time.

My post is about a guy I am actually curious about. I have never been able to hide my noticing and checking other guys out when I am interested and I get busted on it a lot. So we were at the mall and some freshmen (sophomores next year) were roaming the food court. One of the guys (David 14m) was wearing a solid green tank with low arm holes and his cute shoulder and arm muscles were so sexy and you could see his ribs and the tops of his pecs really well and he had a really fun haircut was just being a natural hottie without even trying to act that way.

My friends totally noticed my visual lock on him and started inviting David and his friends over and outing me for having the hots for him. He and I both blushed like crazy and he was like “really?” and I just nodded and said “yeah” and he was like “thank you for the compliment.” Total class move on his part. Two of the girls in his crew started tugging on him and pulling him away like they were saving him from me and they wandered off.

I love my friends but I wanted to pound them. Even when they are annoying, I am grateful for my friends and they just accept me and are chill with me being myself.

So besides some fantasies later that night, I forgot about David. And then about 1AM, I get a text from him. How he got my number is interesting story but not important. When I realized who it was I was like so excited but confused. He insisted he was straight but said he wanted to talk to let me know how nice it was to be noticed that way and wondered did he handle it okay and could we be friends.

I convinced him to face time and we had the weirdest conversation where at my request he ended up shirtless and flexing for me and I told him every pervy thing I wanted to do with or to him and he was like getting his mind blown but obviously soaking up the compliments. He is a track and field athlete and is a pole vaulter (lots of jokes about his pole). But for all the sexy talk he was not interested in acting on anything. He asked if we could be friends but not do any gay stuff and I agreed (reluctantly).

I asked what this was all about and he said he was turned on by my attention and the things I said about his body and how it made him feel to know I liked him that way and he did not know why because he likes girls but they are cagey and you never know what they are thinking. He said me asking him to take his shirt off for the face time was the hottest thing he has ever done. So he is obviously a virgin.

I cannot tell what is going on in David’s cute little head. Is he gay or bi and just not ready to admit it? Is he straight like he says but just desperate for praise and feedback? Do I start with a friendship and test him with some in person flirting? Maybe he just wants to be seduced? Maybe he is the devil trying to drive me insane?

I know my friends will give me holy hell if he ends up in our circle or I end up is his. I asked what his friends would think. He said as a joke I might get my eyes clawed out but he did not care what other people think because he knows he is straight and does not care and thinks it would be “fun” to have a gay friend.

Does anyone else think this is weird? If he is playing a mind game he comes across so sincere. And who cares as long he keep taking his shirt off when we face time (which he actually agreed to as a condition).

The other issue of course, is I will be 18 and technically an adult in September so by the time we are back in school he will be off limits anyway. So freaky friend zone it will have to be. So any advice on dealing with my interesting and ridiculously cute new straight friend David?

View related questions: flirt, move on, muscle, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2022):

I am not even going to discuss your question because it is about A CHILD.

A CHILD!!!

He's off limits no matter how old you are.

The mere fact that all of this seems OK in your head is a red flag. You need help. Seek it before you slip up and some day do something irreversible.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2022):

David's friends WERE trying to save him from you. NOT because you're gay, but because he is 14!!!

You are NOT allowed to behave this way towards children.

Don't you understand that??

You are behaving like a paedophile and your friends should warn you about your behaviour and if you don't correct yourself and fast, you are going to end up in all sorts of trouble. Not to mention the fact that you are manipulating this innocent child to engage in questionable acts during your communications. This is extremely disturbing to read as you seem to have no boundaries.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2022):

In a way , I hope this post is just a fantasy ( it could be - it's a curious coincidence that few weeks ago we had a 17 y.o. gay boy gushing about his younger cute straight friend in a Spiderman costume yada yada ).But if this is more than a literary exercise, no, OP, just don't. The boy is 14 for f..k's sake ! He is a kid and you are going to be soon legally an adult. Some people might say ,well, 4 years of age difference ,no big deal - and in some places even the law would give you a hand if you seduced him, lowering your responsibility through some "Romeo and Juliet " clause. But in actual real life , there is a huge gap in experience ,maturity and streetsmarts between 14 and 18 and the older one is in a position of advantage per se. Sure ,when you manipulate this naive kid to show off for your entertainment ,it is slightly less sleazy and sickening that if you were, say, 50. But still, it is sleazy and sickening and disturbing. You are so lucky to live in an environment where you are not penalized for your sexual horientation, you do not have to hide it , or to be harassed for it. Great .Good for you - now go live your sexuality happily and *healthily* with consenting adults like yourself.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 July 2022):

Honeypie agony aunt"I cannot tell what is going on in David’s cute little head. Is he gay or bi and just not ready to admit it? "

No, he told you, HE is straight or perhaps rather he WANTS to be straight. He is 14. A child, OP. His "sexuality" is not up for debate. Especially since you are almost 18.

Do you want the "groomer label"?

"And who cares as long he keep taking his shirt off when we face time (which he actually agreed to as a condition)."

I mean WHAT the actual fuck!?!

You (and ALMOST adult - legally, at least not mentally, for sure) is PUTTING conditions on a "friendship" with a 14 year old? For him to be "topless on facetime calls? GROSS!

Let's say you were straight and you did that to a 14 year old girl, so you not think people would get up in arms?

" Do I start with a friendship and test him with some in person flirting? Maybe he just wants to be seduced?

No, for F's sake! NO. He is a LITERAL CHILD at 14. Get your head out of your own grandiose ass and grow up!

I think you need to take a good hard look at your own behavior here. This is not OK. I don't GIVE a single flying fart about your sexual orientation, you being gay or straight doesn't matter. YOUR actions matter. And the actions you mention SCREAMS groooooooooomer!

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