A
female
age
30-35,
*uliet94
writes:I really made a huge and stipid mistake and now feeling guilty,hurt and embarrassed.I could not accept my past and move on.I have a brother and I'm really close with him.He has a close friend(jack) and he tells about him causually.I had seen him but never talk before.I started to like him but was afraid to tell this to my brother.jack seems to be a nice guy too but I rarely knows him.Honestly I'm beautiful but too naïve and immatured (especially when it comes to guys and relationship).I do not know how to judge people.I never had a boyfriend before.My friends will always ask me not to be boring and flirt with guys.Once I messaged jack telling I like him for a year but did not tell because he is my brother's friend.I did not inform my brother about this.I was too scared to tell this.So I thought of asking jack firsst and then inform my brother.He neither said yes or no.He said he has a girlfriend and also I'm his buddy sister.He said he likes me because I'm beautiful but will accept me as a friend.I was disappointed by his answer.But still I agreed to be friends.my instinct says he is not a good guy even before I started to talk to him.After I started to talked him I came to know many things about him which seems to be so wrong and scared...however he was being himself.he said he love a girl one side for 4 years.he continue to love her even when she had a boyfriend.But she rejected him and got married.Now he is dating her younger sister who is just 15 years old!and he is 24 years old.He claimed she propose her first.He did not complete his degree.Everrything seems so weird.All the way he was playing with my feelings..i was having one side love for him which he know clearly.his answers were confusing.He said he has a girlfriend but likes me..at times he said I'm only his friend.i talked to him for 10 days..I realised it's time to stop talking to him as I was getting too hurt.i was hurt that I'm talking to him behind my beloved brother's back.I was hurt he is just playing with me.i was hurt because I was holding my feelings for him.N I was hurt because he is betraying my brother too...so i informed him I won't be talking to him n walked away.i was hurt for months crying..after 3 months everything was normal.i was happy again n never look back.i never tell anything to my brother because it will be too painful for him.Jack started to msg him again many times after I move on.This time he seemed to be serious with me.Once I forced him to go to a job n complete his studies.He informed me that he is now going to a job and decided to study.but I ignore him as I don't want to be played anymore.Somehow my brother's another friend came to know about this and inform my brother.My brother started to hate me but still protected me.My brother said he is a hooligan with no aim.He had cheated many girls.My brother said to jack that i was dealing with mental stress at work place at that time when i said i like him.And asked him not to disturb me.I feel so painful..my brother lost a friend because of me even though he is a hooligan.I hurt my brother.And now jack is serious about me.He changed because of me.But now I moved on.but still I'm feeling guilty that now I could not accept him no matter how hard I try.And I don't feel like trusting him again and hurt my brother feelings again.What shall I do for my brother to forgive me?thanks...
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at work, flirt, has a girlfriend, immature, move on, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2018): Post script:
Let me add that your brother knows what Jack is capable of. He crossed the line when he came for his sister. So give him time, and he will get-over his anger. He doesn't hate you, he's disappointed in what you were doing behind his back; and that it happened to be with someone like Jack!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2018): Your brother will get over it. He admitted that Jack is a hooligan, and he protected you. It's not a big deal. You may have set Jack on the right path. Maybe, maybe not! He's known for his ways with fooling women.
Just because he got a job and went back to school; doesn't mean he treats women any better. He probably has a long way to go to clean-up his act.
Your brother is sore with you; only because you kept your communications and flirtations with Jack a secret from him. He knew about his friend's bad habits and aimless ways; but he didn't want him messing around with his younger sister. He knows Jack has a bad reputation for hurting young women; and he didn't want him breaking your heart, or messing with your head. Something his buddy is well-known for.
Your brother would never put a friend before his beloved sister. He's angry at you, only because something could have gone wrong; and he wouldn't have been there to protect you.
He wouldn't be angry, unless he loves you; and was worried about you. He's angry you were naive and secretive.
Just stay away from Jack. You're not the reason they are no longer friends. Jack is the reason, my dear.
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