A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts i'm soo confused! I got really good friends at University, the one friend is a guy we get along sometimes other times he's soo spiteful towards me and i've no idea why. Back in the first year he lost his mum and because i was young when i lost my mum i just said if he ever needed to talk i'm there and so on. I didn't go on about it because i knew that's not something he'd want to do. Anyways after that he would treat me like utter crap! He'd always have ago at me and then try to be my friend if i got stressed about an essay he'd kick off at me. We all went on holiday together and my friends friend hid his chocolate and he straight away came to me and was really nasty i can't even eat chocolate and because it wasn't me who hid it it was my friends friend he was all fine with them about it but as soon as he thought it was me he was so mean to me. I deserve a lot more i am never nasty to him i always try my best but i get treated like rubbish. Like today i clicked my fingers he said it was really annoying and i hadn't done it to be annoying but he was so mean about it and i got so upset because then he tried to be all nice to me again after ignoring me and snapping at me.Why does he do that? What am i meant to do? Is it because i offered a lending hand with his mum?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 October 2012):
 Honestly, it's hard to say why he acts this way.
I think you have to take a good long hard look at this "friendship" and see if it is "worth" for you to continue or not. If not, I would slowly phase him out of your life. I would tell him though that you don't appreciate how he goes off on you from time to time, but if you are a non-confrontational I would just phase him out.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 October 2012):
 It is a hard one to tell, it is never easy losing a parent and it sounds like is a defence mechanism he has built up around himself. He knows that you have suffered the same but he might actually resent the fact that deep down he may want to open up and talk about it but at the same time he probably does not want to show a weaker side of himself, so instead he lashes out at you. That off course is only one theory.Whatever his reasons for his behaviour it is totally not fair on you to be so hot and cold towards you. So it is time you stood up for yourself and have a word with him. Just be honest with him and tell him how he makes you feel and ask him what the deal is with him and if he wants to be friends or not. It is just best to be open and honest with him and see what he has to say. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (8 October 2012):
 He might need assessment by a Doctor for a mental illness. He is taking something out on you not sure why or for what reason exactly. I do that from time to time I hate when it happens. Innocent people get hurt cause I'm angry at other things.
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