A
female
age
30-35,
*taarshine
writes:Hi dearCupid, I have been getting extremely mixed signal from my ex boyfriend. The story is, he dumped me about a week ago, but we still live together, and will be living together until July. The confusing part is he pays attention to what I do in the house, and wants to spend A lot of time with me when we are at home together. It seems like he wants me back, but he is sticking adamantly to his "he doesn't want to be together" stand. He has invited me to go on a 2 day vacation with him in August, as "friends" and he's been offering to buy me little things I want, for example a video game. If I'm sleeping when he comes home (we have different rooms) he will come into my room and just look at me. I know he wants sex, and we have had it a few times since, but I know him better than that, and I can see he doesn't want to lose me. How can I be sure? Should I completley ignore him? I don't know what to do because I love him so much, but I don't think I can take anymore... I'm starting to break and fall apart. What can or should I do about this? I'm utterly confused, I don't want to lose him.
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female
reader, cupidus +, writes (19 March 2011):
 Why did he dump you?
Why did you let him stay?
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 March 2011):
 "He doesn't want to be together." What else could that mean. I am guessing it could mean I want to have fun with you, but I can't guarantee I want to spend my whole life with you. There is a period when a guy comtemplates about the pros and cons of marriage, then they back out when they get to the con part, scared and can't get out of that.
I know there will be people who tell you he's just using you for sex, stringing you along, stopping you from meeting other guys, etc. I know that.
The thing is you will never be sure. The only person you can trust is yourself. That is, no matter what happens you know you will be fine, and that you are worthy of love no matter what. You are meant to experience love and pain. Whatever path comes it's mean to be because it makes you grow, it increases your capacity to love and be compassionate. Act like you didn't hear what he said. Guys are so forgetful so maybe someday you mention this and he would be like, did I really say this to you, I didn't mean that, you took it wrong! Words are useless sometimes. He would be surprised at your coolness, and be intrigued how come you don't get all emotional and insecure like other girls would. Why would he want to leave if you are having fun together? Just make sure he's the one asking about you, looking for you, making plans for you. You don't do anything but you don't have to ignore him completely either.
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