A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. After a few years of being single minus one short relationship last year, I've found someone I want to get serious with. We've been dating a few months now and I've put a lot of thought into the type of partner I want to be. I've no problem really with living a settled down lifestyle and spend most of my time studying, working, and taking care of two kids. My issue is that I've been single for so much of the last six years that it seems as though I've accumulated quite a number of guy friends who obviously are into me but I wasn't into in that way for various reasons. When I started dating my boyfriend some of them quit talking to me and I'm ok with that. Here lately I cleaned up my Facebook account, old messages, friends list etc because I want to feel comfortable leaving my phone unlocked and laying around my boyfriend. The problem with that is I get a lot of random guys messaging me calling me beautiful or commenting sexy on my pictures and though they aren't anyone I've seen around lately I feel as though my boyfriend would take it wrong if he seen such stuff. I even told a few people to stop calling me beautiful, as they didn't know me and had no business doing so but they seemed clueless as to what my point was and so I just blocked them. Then there's guys I talked to in the past that I never got anywhere with that just seem to pop up every few months to let me know they still like me, even though they never put forth any effort to date me for real, it just seems unpredictable and could probably cause problems if my boyfriend took it the wrong way. I'm curious as they whether or not this is something that goes away after being in a relationship a while and posting pictures, what a guy's perspective would be, and what steps I can do to make my Facebook more respectable in the eyes of an awesome boyfriend I see a future with.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 April 2018):
 Set your setting (privacy setting) to allow friends only and friends of friends. People you KNOW in "real life" and OBVIOUSLY not guy who are looking to catch your eye.
CULL your FB friend's list. Everyone who is a guy looking to hook up with you or flirt with you GOT TO GO. EVERY single one. Unfriend, block, move on.
Just because a GUY contacts YOU doesn't mean you have to answer or add him... does it?
It's not hard.
If a guy is interested in more than friendship and more than YOU are interested in, wish him well, block him and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2018): You're young and attractive, apparently. Your previous dates and pursuers are surely going to pop-up now and then. It's a small-world; and there is really nothing else you can do, but what you've been doing. Social media allows for people to get around blocks and efforts to discontinue contact.
You're an adult, so use your words. Explain to your boyfriend what has been happening; and don't leave it up to him to guess what's going on. You're over the age of 25, and you have children. He knows you have men in your past; and if he can overlook the fact you're a single-mom, he's not just some ordinary Joe-blow.
Just state it matter-of-factually that some knuckleheads who didn't even give you the time of day or you were never even interested in, decide to start bothering you. They couldn't do that; unless you gave them a means to do so.
Now their persistence, and the sheer number of them, might make your sincerity and credibility a little questionable. They shouldn't be so frequent and furious you should be so worried. If you have been true about who you are, the past, and your values from the start; this shouldn't be a big concern.
Block their numbers on your phone; or get a new phone number.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 April 2018):
 Honestly? I think you are worrying way to much about this. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean people cannot call you beautiful or sexy. If it bothers you that much then don't have people you don't know on social media, and if your friends comment it then just write back and say thanks my boyfriend seems to think so. It will die down in time. But honestly your boyfriend shouldn't make a huge deal out of this unless he is insecure.
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