A
male
age
30-35,
*989mrz
writes:Hi, in 2009 i was visiting my friend in another town so i met and she is a neigbour of my friend ,she gave me her numbers when i went home the same day i called her we talked suddenly the following day her phone was not working,so i thought like she was playing with me then i deleled her numbers from my phone so i can forget about her,then 2010 early february she then call me and this time iwas almost 500km away from home i was no longer staying at home iwas at another city so we talked and she tells me that she lost her phone its why she was off for long time ,the i believed her,so long story short we been texting calling since then and i never had sex with her before but i dated many girls while in a long distance with her and i even used prostitutes alot cause am away from home ,so 2011 again i left the city where i was and went to stay in another city still is 550km away from this girl and am still far from her, we still in touch she's very faithful with me and i try to be faithful to her sometimes but not always and am afraid if she found out i used hookers and that i've date many girls behind her back she will go crazy,so late 2012 i wanted to break up with her by annoying her everyday she called me cause iwas tired of living lies,the she answered me like"you wanna dump me after 3years of loving you" when i heard this i ran out of words,so we continued ,now she is at college she's fininshing very soon and me too am at university but in a long distance learning,so most of the time she tells me some thing like"study hard so that you can finish am waiting for you and am not even cheating on you i wanna be with you but school first" so always when i remember this words i cry always when am alone and even when i cheat on her i always feel sorry for her ,and i once tell her that ,don't be afraid one day to tell me if you found a bf ,beacuse i see her after many years since i saw her 2012. i wish she can call me and tell me its over but it doesnt happen and i can't dump her either as my main focus is to study if possible i start a future with her, ...it took me 8months to write this here please help
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female
reader, Loubou  +, writes (14 October 2014):
You may not understand it but it's the classic have your cake and eat it too. She's The one that's there when you're alone and you're not engaged with prostitutes or other girls, you love her intelligence and kindness But your guilt and selfishness is a challenge for you that's why you want her to break up with you because then you don't have to be honest with her and let her know that she deserved something better.
Your fear of being alone and your selfishness does not equate to taking the warmth and kindness and love of another human being.
Maybe look more into yourself and think about why you hold onto her?
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 October 2014):
 You are being n idiot and you seem to know it, what can anyone say? If you are looking for someone o tell you you are doing the right thing by messing around with everyone you can find with "round heels" I bet you won't find anyone here.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (13 October 2014):
 You know, of course, that your beaviour - as revealed herein - is despicable... and is a terrible disservice to this woman who - silently or otherwise - dedicated herself to you?????
You CANNOT BREAK OFF WITH HER SOON ENOUGH!!!!! ... such that she can make real life decisions for herself... with men who are not like you....
Otherwise, good luck. Are you being screened, regularly, for STDs????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2014): Seriously, if you can't be true to your woman then you shouldn't be with her. You need to break it off, forget beating around the bush and avoiding it waiting for her to call it off. She isn't getting the hint, break up with her and be upfront. You're doing wrong to her and it's not fair. If you're not cut out for an LDR then you need to stop this and stop leading her on.
Don't feel guilty about breaking up with her, you're doing the best thing for her. Just end it and stop playing games.
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