A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my husband for 14 years now, we married when I was 28 and he was 29, and over the past few weeks he's started ranting about every single thing and obsessing over porn.I am mum to an 8-year-old daughter, Katie.I'm an American living in Australia, been here since 2006 now; originally from Michigan but moved here in late 2005.When he gets up in the morning, he rants about everything, one day he ranted we didn't have enough of his favourite cereal. He then went into a rant about breakfast cereals.Working from home has been impossible, he got kicked off Zoom for ranting and raving, told not to return to work while he faces disciplinary action.He's also been ranting at our daughter. Her "crime"? Playing with Thomas the Tank Engine.The rant was over Thomas and how it was a boy's toy supposedly and then into weird conspiracy theories on Thomas the tank engine.At dinner, he was ranting, and the rant was about every single thing, right down to how he thought climate change was something that was just something politicians wanted to argue over.I can't go out shopping with him any more, as he rants; he kicked off in a shop ranting in the breakfast cereal and candy aisles, ranting about candy manufacturers and kids high on sugar, people were filming his ranting and raving. The cereal and candy industry get him ranting quite a bit. Ironically, he'll eat three candy bars in a single sitting, and then washed down with a large soft drink, and he continues ranting.The fruit and vegetable aisle got him ranting over genetic engineering, and the clothing aisle, well, he was ranting about body positivity.The whole shopping experience was a nightmare from start to finish.I don't know what's got him into this ranting mood, it's only been going on for four weeks now, before now he was a decent guy.Alcohol and drugs can be ruled out, he's not a big drinker and doesn't smoke cannabis.Tried talking to him, being there for him but he just rants and rants.He had a hobby of gaming but got kicked off the gaming platform for long-winded rants and verbally abusing players. Without that, he's ranting more and more.I feel like coming back to the U.S now, but it'll be so unfamiliar after 15 or so years. I've got dual citizenship and I guess my daughter will be more Australian than American.As it is, my husband's non-stop ranting is causing me so much stress.What's gotten even worse is that he's gotten up at 3am in the morning and I've heard him ranting at the television and yelling "BLOODY FUCKING BOGANS!!!!" every other night.I can't watch telly with him as I just know everything will get him ranting.He's not physically abusive, but the ranting is causing me so much stress.I don't think I've got anywhere else to go and don't think my local American expat society can help.What can I do about a ranting, shouty husband?There's no official diagnosis of a brain tumor, and I can't explain his behavior.He was a good dad, but now I'm fearful he won't be.What could turn him from the great guy I knew into a person who rants 24/7 about every single thing?It doesn't help that I'm getting stressed and having nightmares about him attacking me.I used to love him but am now worrying and questoning costs of divorce etc.; it's painful to see him transform from a humorful lovable guy into a non-stop ranting guy who gets angry over everything. I haven't got that many friends here, other than another expat American woman and an expat German couple who live in our neighborhood. But I don't see either of them very much.I like my job here (even though I can't do it for now) and am wondering if my employer could transfer me back to the U.S.Would I even be able to get a flight out, even though Australians can't leave the country? I am American still.I need your advice now!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (7 September 2021):
 Obviously there is something not quite right with your husband, maybe something he knows about and is not telling you, or an underlying condition.
I think that you should book and appointment with your local doctor and get him checked out, and obtain some free advice on what to do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2021): Girl get him to the er now! He might of had a stroke.He is not to young as I had one at 52. It can change you like you have described.He could still be having small strokes even every day and it can be un noticeable. A big one might yet to come.Get him to a hospital.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2021): I find your post me re than a bit strange.When someone changes overnight there’s always a reason and you make it sound as if there was none. Are you sure that you are seeing the situation clearly?Before doing anything rash you must eliminate the health reasons, like tumors. You say that he’s not using any drugs, are you sure that he may be actually off the drugs he should be taking? Sometimes people hide their mental health issues and can successfully do so for decades until they slip up due to stressful situations and/or unpredictable circumstances. I know this may sound impossible to you, but it does happen. These are very trying times. If you ever feel unsafe or worried about how this affects your child you must leave. Are there any moments when he’s his old self? Would he accept to see a shrink? Is there a legal way yiu could use to force him to see one?You say you’ve been happy with him for 14 years and are ready to give up on him in less than a month without doing anything to get to the bottom of it and help him? It does sound strange.I’d yry to get help for him and prepare my ecit just in case.
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