A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my guy for almost two years now. He's adorable, caring, loving, you name it. I enjoy his company a lot.One thing that really bothers me is when it comes to our sex life. He's not that good in bed and due to that I don't enjoy making love to him. I think mostly I'm scared I might get pregnant since we're not ready to have a child now. We have been doing the coitus interruptus method(withdrawal method).I've never ever climaxed or even had an orgasm in all our encounters. I don't want to hurt his ego so I had been pretending all along to be liking it. He is the first person I've had sex with and it really bothers me that I don't enjoy making love to him. I sometimes feel perhaps he's not touching the right places yet I don't even know the right places to even tell him to touch.I'm usually dry in all our encounters and it makes sex painful to me. He does everything he could but I still I don't get wet. I sometimes feel it's always one sided, like he's usually the only one who enjoys it.So my question is;1. How can I let him know I don't enjoy our sex life without hurting him? 2.What are the things he could do to improve it???4. What are the things he can do to make me climax or reach an orgasm?3.What can I also do to start enjoying sex with my partner? Thank you very much for taking time to read it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2020): I expect the advice from female readers and DC aunts would be more relevant on this subject but anyway, my opinion is if you don't know what excites you, then how do you expect your bf to know it especially if this is the first time sex for you both. This is why sex education is so important. To learn on this subject you don't need to join courses or classes. You should read a few educational books or articles and google on the subject and experiment with your body to discover your erogenous zones and discover what excites you more and gets you to orgasm, then when you are with your bf guide him what to what he needs to do. Surely if you are intimate enough to have sex together then you should be able to talk about it. So the secret is communicate,experiment and have fun. I hope this helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2020): 1. Frame it positively. Instead of a negative complaint. Such as - let's explore new ideas and make it more interesting.
2. Consider using a water based gel for lubrication. Also consider learning about female erogenous zones, and foreplay techniques.
3. Don't be stressed out about climaxing. It will take time to figure this out. Keep exploring new things, and do more of what is pleasurable.
4. You could finger yourself to get yourself wet before the penetration part. Other ideas could be improving the room ambience - scent and music
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2020): Have you ever had an orgasm by yourself?If you have than you should know a little about what may stimulate you.If you have never masturbated, you should. Find out what does it for you.Do you ever get excited by reading about or watching a romantic/erotic scene?1. How can I let him know I don't enjoy our sex life without hurting him?Say you'd like to try something you will like (but first you need to have an idea, experiment).2.What are the things he could do to improve it???You can only answer that by having an idea about what may excite you and experimùent.4. What are the things he can do to make me climax or reach an orgasm?You are the only one who can answer that, but clitoral stimulation is a must for most women.3.What can I also do to start enjoying sex with my partner?Discover your body and how you react to certain stimuli. Here are some comments:1. Use protection, coitus interuptus is not safe and is not something you both can be relaxed about. If you use protection you'll be relaxed and it would be easier to enjoy sex.2. Foreplay is important as so is setting the mood. Only you two know what this means for you. For some setting the mood includes wearing sexy clothes, lighting candles, wine... you need to find out. But mostly it's about feeling that this other person is desiring you and will do anything to get you and make you happy. Foreplay is something that you both need to explore. Do you both enjoy giving and receiving oral sex? For example.3. you pretending you enjoy sex is you not trying to hurt his ego and I bet that you don't do it just regarding sex. You need to know what you want and be self-confident. There are ways to find out what you want and boost your self confidence.So you don't have to tell him you never had an orgasm, but he obviously can't tell that you're not enjoying it. It's a common knowledge, though, that dryness comes from lack of excitement, stimulation.So, discover your body!The question I have is WHY would you ever think that it was necessary and OK to go along with this. It's very improbable that you are having this problem only in your sex-life. Usually it's generally an attitude towards life, men... to accept this submissive position because you don't won't to "rock the boat". You know go along to get along. We usually learn these behaviors in our family and then repeat them, sometimes because we chose partners that are similar to our parents or we simply believe that our partners would want us to behave like that, even if it's not true at the beginning, so we make them believe that that behavior is okay and they get used to us being passive and just accepting and pretending. Youa re very young and this can be changed.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2020): 1- Don't, say let's try something a little different. Try Cowgirl and reverse Cowgirl. (girl on top)
There some real good 'how to' tutorials on the internet. Avoid the porn.
Get a lubricant, like KY. Use a lubricated condom. Guys who pull out are called FATHERS.
"I'm scared I might get pregnant" No wonder you're not enjoying it.
You don't mention oral, so start doing oral. Oral foreplay is awesome. Have him give you oral, then intercourse, halftime oral, finish inside you.
Get some toys. Try vibrating penis rings. They're so mainstream Walmart sells them.
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