A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went on a few dates with a guy and then decided I couldn't pursue things with him as my ex had come back and started causing me problems (I never got back with him, touched him or invested time in him - he was just harrassing me and wanted to patch things up). I didn't know this new guy well enough to explain why I was backing off but all I told him was that I couldn't continue seeing him and had things to deal with. I felt horrible for doing this but I didn't want to drag him into my problems and waste his time while I dealt with things.It's been about a month now and I've sorted myself out, realized a few things about myself and what I want out of life. I recently got in touch with the guy I went out with before, just to say hello. I just wanted to touch base with him and see if we could at least re-connect. He replied to me and said that he thought about me recently. Surprisingly he then asked if I'd like to catch up. I agreed and we've made plans to see each other.My questions are:1. What are the chances he only wants to see me to get back at me/play me? I doubt this but I'm still cautious. 2. Do you think he's asking to catch up because he wants to give it another go, or is he only looking to be friends this time around?3. What's the best way for me to handle this when I see him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): I think you should have waiting about6 months before re-connecting. The time that has passed is not dependable.I think he does want to re-connect. Don't talk about the past or any commitment. See what HE says when you see him.Go with the flow.
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