A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you know if a woman is into you?I'm a 23 yr old virgin and have had one girlfriend only. It lasted two years.Shyness/lack of confidence gets in my way. Whether I think I'm too short/not good looking/charismatic enough. When I do attenpt to speak to women I generally have good responses, nothing compared to what I fear will happen.There were was a girl a couple years ago zi went on a few dates on that was a close friend. Turns out she dated me for a while to get back at her friend who liked me when they were fighting. She admitted she wanted to wait until I was done with grad school to date me and dated other guys in the meantime. That really broke my trust in many women.What are signs a girl wants me to move the conversation to asking her out? How can I meet a girl and trust that she wants me for who I am and not for what I do/can provide?I also know that I used to want the wrong girls. They liked the 'badboy' and admitted they didnt think they deserved me initially and that they wouldnt think I'd like them
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2016): Follow your instincts. People will let you know if they like you and if they are interested. You have to get to know them in order to establish "how" they like you. Then you have to be patient and not jump to conclusions. Things will develop as they should, if it's meant to be. If they play too many games and send mixed signals, don't waste your time. They're basking in the attention; and that's all they're looking for. Move on. Your shyness is also a waste of their time. To put it simple, it's frustrating.
Please let maturity guide you. You should always be level-headed and not let eagerness or desperation get the better of you. Most initial connections fail; because people over-think and/or move too fast. They want a girlfriend or boyfriend so bad, they either flake-out because they fear rejection; or they pour on a pile of goo and sap trying to plead a case. Hoping to let the person they are interested in know all their feelings all at once; thinking they'll
fall for them in an instant. It just doesn't work like that.
That's the movies and television. In real-life, you get up the nerve to have a conversation. Ask if they'd like to get to know you better, and respectfully accept if they wish to put you in the friend-zone. If that's not enough, kindly move-on. You don't have to be a friend if you don't want to.
Sometimes you just click, with no effort. It's not always hard. Over-thinking makes it hard. Trying to anticipate the outcome, defeats you before you even try.
Always determine if the person is committed, at the very beginning. Simple question: "Are you seeing anyone?" Open conversation to see if you can "comfortably" hold her attention. If you see the conversation flows, relax and enjoy. Be yourself. She has to feel at ease with you. Once that is established; take a deep breath, and ask her out.
You have to overcome shyness, or shyness will overcome you.
There comes a point you have to man-up and stop acting like a kid. You want women to take notice, then show them you're a man. It doesn't matter if you're a virgin. Manhood doesn't rest on when you first have sex; it's determined when you know who you are, and trust in your own confidence. No one can tell you how to do that. You have to decide on your own when you're ready.
Don't be ruled by your lack of sexual-experience. Just don't bite off more than you can chew with aggressive or pushy females. Don't let losing your virginity be your objective, that will happen sooner or later anyway. You've got to get the girl first, and the feelings have to be mutual. It's not rocket science, it's natural.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (31 July 2016):
 If you like a girl then find out if she has a boyfriend already. If not ask her if she would like to meet up for a drink. Choose somewhere you can have a conversation without having to shout to be heard.
If that goes well then ask if she would like to meet again. During your first meeting you can learn the kind of things she likes: food, music, art, sport, whatever. Take a lead. Suggest a couple of things but don't take over. Listen to what she likes not what you like.
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