A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Apart from sexual chemistry WHAT should a couple have in common to make a good relationship. My boyfriend has just split with me although our sex life was great (he said so) and obviously he msut not have loved me as much BUT his reasons he thought long term or marriage we didnt have enough in common to make it work. So please apart from the obvious -WHAT other things should people be looking for to have in common??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): I'm sorry he has done this, it must hurt deeply. My experience with men has been that if they really like you, or love you, they see things you have in common that you may not even have thought of....my ex used to list all the ways we were the same, I would always look at all the ways we were different.
What I'm saying is, two people can see the exact same situation in two different lights. I can't say what he was looking for in a relationship because everyone is different.
I think love, laughter and trust make a good relationship. You should have something you like to do together, for us it was card games and board games, dogs (we each had one) cooking, certain t.v. programs and fixing up HIS house.
In other relationships I've had, it has been different things. Ask yourself what is important to YOU.
In a good relationship, sex is only 10% of the relationship, in a bad, 90%.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Well your boyfriend may have just said that to deflect the conversation from the "real" reason he wanted to break up. Maybe he met somebody else. You never know...I wouldn't take his "reason" for the break up too literally, honestly.
Men will always find "commonalities" with you if the sex is good...its sounds like he met someone else or is not telling you the "real" reason for the break up.
But in terms of having stuff in common for me it comes down to having similar values and interests and similar goals for the future. Like if I am an active person with plans to travel the world, I certainly would not click well with a couch potato who plays video games all day. Like that. Do you think you both had little in common? If you disagree with him, then I can guarantee you he made that up as an excuse to break up with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Vow, I have empathy with you; if the attraction was there and you got along well; vow, then this must be, very painfull;
you obviously thought all was on tract;
I don't know, and I cannot even begin to name the things, BUT
I do suggest you have a serious TALK to him; try and find out what is important to him, yes; "listen"; and then try and make an assesment;
sometimes we do think different; and yes express ourselves differently;
try read the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus;
Best wishes
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (6 July 2008):
 You can't base a good relationship solely on a good sex life...It needs to be a combination of trust, communication, sex, affection, similarities and differences :o)
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