A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am two years and a half older than him, I knew him three years ago via internet, we were chatting almost every day.. he lives at 5000 km from. I thought that the age gap and the long distance would keep us from falling for each other but I was wrong.. three months ago we had a different conversation, he told me that he has feelings for me but can't promise anything! it's just impossible because of the distance and that he started seeing other persons there! that I am a wonderful girl, he can't lose me, he wants to keep me as a close friend and wished me to meet my Mr right with whom I will start a family...I was devastated, he was the one who initiated everything.. and I wasn't expecting that from him, at all. I was so sad but didn't show it..I said fine! fair enough, thanks for being honest and kept chatting with him every day.. but like friends!Last month I went in a business trip to his country and met him for the 1st time, it was something I didn't expect at all and I was hesitating but I ended up by seeing him for two days. The first day, I was distant, cold and really wanted to be just a friend but the 2nd day, we were too close to each other, I have to say that there is a strong physical attraction between us, he was touching me in a way that made fell more ttracted I could hardly avoid kissing him when he hugged me, we were like two magnets put together, I was so sad to leave, I even cried in the plane and felt blue without him..I started missing him at the time we said good bye..Once back home, we were in touch again via msn and phone but for me it wasn't enough..not after having been in his arms..it was hard for me to be back to my normal life..Two weeks ago, we were chatting and he was telling me how he misses me and that he's thinking about me all the time and I said me too..and that I miss him more since we met but nothing else has changed..I mean we are still living far away from each other..he said that there is nothing to do..but he might visit me or I might visit him again, who knows!Then, I said that it would be to hard for me to meet him again and then get separated, it would be worse than the 1st time.He has thrown the ball to me asking me about the solution!I said /' we shouldn't meet again that's it'I felt that he was in shock but he didn't show it, he just said ok if this is what you want.It's been two weeks since then, he don't talk to me, I tried to start the conversation twice but he didn't answer, he don't call and don't sms, doesn't even leave messages on Facebook..nothing!For a week, he was leaving messages to say 'I am partying tonight' , 'I am dating someone'and this week, he is all the time on msn, he doesn't sleep!!! and doesn't talk to me..I feel all mixed up, I love him but I know there no future for this love and he was the one who wanted us to be friends no more so what happened now?He shouldn't be upset! I miss him but I can't let him hurt me..I wanted him to be clear about his intentions but he throw the ball to me..what could I have done?Did I hurt him?Have I made the right decision?I really need your advice.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): so what do you want? you have said No - so he has moved on?
i think you have to tell him you want to be friends if you can. But i think he is trying hard to forget you and move on.
i think if this was a fairytale, you would find a way to see each other...
Star.x.
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