A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, so I have two issues I need help with. The first one is my boyfriend or whatever you wanna call him we broke up in June but then worked through it and he moved back in. But we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. We do everything boyfriend and girlfriend do but we're not labled and he says that when I stop being controlling and on his ass about everything and stop accusing him about everything then we can officially get back together. The second issue is we've been together for 2 years in February and I've only met his mom once, and three of his friends his other friends that he watches football and stuff with I've never met the 3 friends I did met he don't hangout with them anymore. When I ask to go around any of friends he says they're busy because 2 are married, and 2 is enaged and one has a baby on the way. His mom don't care any for me and he says she's never home he says she's either at work or with her boyfriend and all he pretty much does is hang out with his more then he does his friends. I haven't met anyone else in his family his dad left him when he was younger. He has another brother but he and his mom never see him because of the dad. In his family I've only met his mom and his other brother. I've never met any aunts uncles cousins grandmas or grandpas or no one and all this worrying me. Its been two years and I still can't go around anyone I've talked to him about it but he says the same stuff his friends are busy all the time. His mom is never home or that his mom doesn't want me around because doesn't care to much for me. What should I do?
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female
reader, p.d632 +, writes (16 January 2015):
The fact that he refuses to officially call you his girlfriend and he also won't introduce you to the people in his life is a pretty bad sign.These are not the indicators of love. He should want to share his life with you, and he should want to show off the love he has for you with his friends. If a guy is serious about you he will never let the relationship remain ambiguous.Does he ever hang out with his friends? If so, they are NOT busy all the time and that would be a time when you should be able to come along and hang out as well, at least for a while. It sounds like an excuse.I think you should re-examine the relationship and decide if it's really what you want. Do the positives outweigh the negatives? I don't know the details about your relationship, but your description does sound mostly negative. Give it a thought.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): From my own personal experience I would run and look for a man who is willing to personally be proud to show you off to his family and friends. As it turns out I dated a man for almost 9 years who for the first couple of years I was living a lie with. He was apparently divorced with two kids, so from the very beginning he never mentioned it. I forgave him and not until 7 years later did I met his parents, brother, and sister accidentally. I regret staying in that relationship because that only showed how serious I was to him. I was young and naive. So my advice a man who is not willing to show you off to those who are close and important to him, not worth the time and effort, which means that nothing will happen in the future as a couple. I learned that the heard way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): He is hiding you as we'll as hiding something from you. There may be another woman. Or no woman at all but he is pretending to be single so he can go out on the prowl. Does he do drugs? That may also be a reason he doesn't want you around his friends. This guy is totally lying to you, manipulating you and dicking you around. You need to dump him. Even if just to teach him a lesson. I did this with my boyfriend. He was acting like a jerk. He started acting weird about me wanting to drop by his work (he owns his own business). Then saying that I am jealous and a bunch of crap. I later found out there was a girl working there that he was getting rather chummy with. He had given her rides home. He would tell her personal things about us, and usually negative in nature. They would meet for lunch to talk "business." Then he is telling me he really trusts this woman whom I'd never met and he had no intention of introducing me to. I eventually got sick of the disrespect and dumped him. He felt so bad and begged for my forgiveness. He acknowledged he was wrong. I forgave him. I don't know the extent of his relationship with this girl, he claims it was all business, but I told him I would not tolerate being marginalized like that. If he wanted to be with me I would be integrated to all aspects of his life. I should feel like I can drop by his work anytime, I should know his co workers, etc. He acknowledged I was right and he agreed. If I were you I would dump him. At least to teach him a lesson. Losing their girlfriends is often the wake up call men need to shape up and stop being jerks.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (4 January 2015):
You said, he "moved back in"? I may not understand the lifestyle too well but I don't think you should let "someone" live with you if you aren't sure about the relationship, much less who he is as a person. It does not seem like he has any close ties with his family so I don't think forcing yourself into the family will make your status any stronger. But I think that problem is stemmed from fact that you do seem unsure about the status of this relationship.
If so much time has passed and nothing has progressed, then what exactly is the purpose of the relationship? Is he a good partner at least? How is the relationship otherwise? Do you both treat each other well?
I can understand why he thinks you are nagging if you are living together. I am sure he thinks he is in control but not giving you want you want, but he has gotten what he wants. If this works for you then it is fine, but I can't see what is good about this situation, so I feel like I would be asking more questions than providing answers.
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