A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, so I have a small issue. Well, it all started in December. My ex and I were still dating but... We were very distant. We hardly ever got together and I wanted to break up with him, but I didn't know when or how. I never loved him, because I don't like feeling tied down, and I hate to love, really I do, and he never had a problem with that. So, we were, obviously, falling apart. Then, when January came, we celebrated our first anniversary, he had received $200 for Christmas and promised he'd save some money for us to go out to dinner with, and he spent it ALL. And he's also pretty much a loser, if I may add. He's a bassist in a band, but he really has no future besides for being an amateur musician. In fact, when he talked about our "future" he talked about living in a trailer park... With our children Constantine, and Zelda. (Wtf?) Anywayyyy, so, last time I saw him was last month. He never texted me before, or since, but the whole time we were at my house, he wouldn't kiss me... BARELY talked to me, and kept mentioning this girl. So. Later that week I heard from my closest friends that they saw him dancing with this girl at a club. I was devastated, sure. But I also had guys that I wanted to be with too. Well, I haven't talked to him since that night. He never texted me, and I heard from a friend that he assumes we're over.On Facebook, 3 days ago he changed from being in a relationship with me to "married" to that girl.Why do I feel so upset?I guess we're over... But I feel so at a huge loss.Do I just need closure?Should I talk to him?
View related questions:
anniversary, christmas, facebook, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, landomando  +, writes (23 February 2012):
wow. you dont love him, you think hes a looser... no wonder why he didnt spend his money on you... You dont even care about him. Theres no tension with him. he moved on. I think u have feelings for him and now that u see your looser bf with another girl. Your just hurt and jealous. Probably should be happy for him and move on.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (23 February 2012):
 wow... you call the guy a looser, you say you never love, you say he has no future, and also there is other guys you want to see, and you EVEN WANTED to break up with him.... no wonder why he didn't want to spend money on you, or get intouch. People have a way of picking up on these vibes, he woke up and smelled the coffe so to speak and good for him. You seem like quite a shallow, and self centered person ! you got what you wanted, his with someone else now who loves him just for being him. You cant have it both ways. leave him alone now to enjoy his real relationship, dont try to open a can of worms just because your ego is bruised.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (23 February 2012):
 Hi, For someone who doesn't believe in loving anyone, you sure do seem torn up about the guy that you don't love being with someone else.....I am going to be super blunt here because I think you need a reality check. You're pretty young and sound a little bit full of yourself. What gives you the right to judge someone else because of what their aspirations are in life? Why call someone a loser because they don't subscribe to what your definition is of "ambition"? Being a bassist is a wonderful thing....it's playing an instrument and the amount of money, fame and talent that current musicians have is outstanding! I am sure if he was a rich young bassist that wanted to name his daughter Zelda....I sense you would not have minded.I am quite happy for the guy if he has found someone else to appreciate him JUST the way he is. Part of loving someone is loving them for exactly who they are and not wanting to change them into who you want them to be. If he is contented to live in a trailer park with Constantine and Zelda...then he's happy. Wouldn't you want happiness for someone you care about? He's a young guy...you never know if he will change his mind about things in the future. Most people your age do things and say things for attention anyway.You are feeling slighted because the attention is no longer on you. My advice...let him go and be happy with whoever this chick is and you move on to someone that fits what your "ambition" is. Good Luck
...............................
|
