A
female
age
30-35,
*reats
writes:I'm "talking" to this guy. we're trying to get to know each other before we start an official relationship. One problem. There's basically no compromise. He loves to joke around at the most inappropriate times -- like when I'm mad or trying to tell him how I feel. He'll totally make jokes and I told him that I don't like it but he keeps telling me that's who he is. I also "monologue" as he calls it. well that's who I am and I'm not changing for him. everyone that knows me knows that and adores me for that. as for him, he sees it as a fault. so I don't know how to talk to him sometimes because he cuts me off and tells me I'm monologing and should start over. I feel suffocated by the fact that I can't even talk. What should I do? where's the compromise that I can't see? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jstar92  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 It seems that if both of you aren't going to compromise, then a serious relationship isn't going to work. If you're trying to talk to him and he isn't listening, then maybe you should just do the opposite, just don't talk to him as much - hopefully he'll get the point and see that there's something wrong and if not - maybe it just won't work out. Hopefully, you can both talk about this seriously, and a mature chat should be able to clear the air and fix it. If he's not going to listen and just make jokes, then there are better guys out there who will be willing to make a few compromises. xox
A
female
reader, simplybecause  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 This sounds to me like the both of you like the idea of each other and thats what got the two of you to start talking in the first place, but once you started talking you realized their is too many differences.We shouldn't spend time looking for the person we want to change things about and that want to change things about us. We should spend that looking for the one who loves us for us and we love them for them.I don't see a compromise in this situation. Sorry, just being honest. Talking is a key part to a successful relationship and if you already feel like you can't talk to him even before the relationship begins that should say something.I hope I helped you and sorry for being brutally honestxoxo
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