A
male
age
41-50,
*awfellow
writes:So Here goes. I have been working with a very nice pretty lady for 3 years now. I am married. She got engaged a month ago. When I first started working with her she was single and I had a strong sense that she was attracted to me. She would touch my arm sometimes, stay under an umbrella with me if it was raini h and look depressed if I didn't sit next to her and would stand close to me during meetings. Now she has subtly changed. Although we still get along great, she seems to be apt to not look at me or act weird if I say hey I'm gong to get something do u want something too? Also we have this unspoken ritual where i always say bye when i leave but she won't come over and say bye if she leaves before me. At the same time or even same day she will text or call my cell phone way past time that I'm home if the weather is bad to check on me. I work with many women and she is the only one who has done this.Without telling me the obvious that we ate both attached so it's wrong, can someone tell me why she is acting this way. You know, obviously gets along with me and cares, but not looking at ne in the eyes all the time, etc.
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male
reader, Lawfellow +, writes (22 December 2010):
Lawfellow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the last female responder.... It only matters bc sometimes I feel attracte to her and don't want to fo anything wrong. There has never Bern any obvious signs she liked or likes me know just subtle things and very inconstestant actions
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): I think she's confused about how she feels about you and what she should do with those feelings.maybe she was hoping you two could have an affair or something but now that she is going to get married herself she feels extra guilt yet can't get unstuck from her previous modes of thinking about you. We all tend to fall back into old patterns of behavior if we get 'triggered' by familiar surroundings or contexts. maybe she is trying to make herself "be good" from now on cos she knows she is engaged, but being around you triggers in her all the old feelings and longings and she falls back into her old patterns of behavior around you only to then pull back when she is able to regain her self control.But since you are also married, why should this matter to you?
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A
male
reader, Lawfellow +, writes (21 December 2010):
Lawfellow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes it seems Like we gave a different dynamic then I have with other women at work. On one hand she is protective o me but acting unsure ariund me too. Of course she's not going to be married until July.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (21 December 2010):
 A lot of women are more attracted to guys in relationships. Others like to cheat right before they settle down, believing it "doesn't count." She sounds like an intersection of the two.
When only one of those conditions applied, she was more comfortable flirting. Now she is experiencing both, and it's causing her to doubt her current relationship. If anything, she's probably more attracted to you than ever, and it's messing with her head, creating these inconsistent behaviors.
Just ignore her, and try not to be alone with her. Hopefully she'll change after she's married; if not, well, keep ignoring her.
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A
male
reader, Lawfellow +, writes (21 December 2010):
Lawfellow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. Why would she think I betrayed her?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): The key has to be that now she is engaged and maybe feels its not appropriate to be too familiar with you. She may well have felt an attraction, but has clearly decided that now it would be unwise to continue in the same manner.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 She may feel like you feel betrayed because she is now a married woman and that could change things in her eyes. No one knows what anyone is thinking unless they dare to ask, but she could have built you up as a fantasy before she married and imagined allsorts of scenarios about you two being together. Now somethings definately changed because she is married. You may just be better off not even trying to analyze it and carry on as normal, say bye when you are going and hi when you are coming in. May be one day when she is more relaxed she may confess all.
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