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26-29,
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writes: Okay so I've been fighting with myself on an issue for months, and I just don't know what to do. I need some advice.So about a year ago I met a guy, lets call him Ben, and we connected almost instantly. We became really close, really fast, and we were basically, as close as close can be, for months. We started off as just friends but the more time I spent with him the closer we got and the more I liked him. Before I knew it, I had fallen head over heals in love with him and I still am. Now normally that wouldnt be a huge problem because I would be able to tell him. But, over February Vacation he started dateing this girl, we'll call her Jane, and they got really close. Now, when he told me, I was completely heart broken and upset, but I was also happy for him because I care about him more than anything and all I want is for him to be happy. The problem, however, is that the closer he got to her, the more he started pulling away from me, and now its like we're strangers. I mean, we still talk but it isnt the same. He went from calling me everyday, twice a day, telling me EVERYTHING that went on throughout his day, to barley talking to me and keeping things as simplistic and impersonal as he can. I told him that I felt like we were becoming distant and he said he felt the same way and that he still cared about me, but I dont really understand that because he is the one that is doing all of this.He is the kind of person that throws himself at one person completely and his entire world is centered around them. I used to be that person to him and I guess i'm just having a hard time dealing all of this. I dont know if I should tell him that I love him or not. i'm afraid i'll make our relationship awkward if he doesnt feel the same way and we'll become even more distant than we are now.I just dont know what to do and I really need some advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): He is dating someone so she must come first, and he must be sharing things with her and not you. That's how it should be.It doesn't sound like he set out to hurt you, but is letting you down gently. So I think you should back off and look at how to fill your time with other things and people. I know that's hard, but in the long run hopefully that's the way you will feel better.
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