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We're back together, but my feelings haven't returned after our split! What can I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 October 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Help! My partner and I got back together a couple of months ago after splitting up in February but whilst we were apart I lost all the feelings and love that I once had for him and I know now that I can't get these feelings back enough to make the relationship work. I really don't want to hurt him by ending things again but I don't want feel I have to keep it going either. What can I do?

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (1 October 2007):

The sooner you act the better off you both will be. You only have one life to live.

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (1 October 2007):

Richard_EMids agony auntWhat can you do? Seems there's only one option to me , the right thing. Tell him. Just what you've said here. It's fair to him, and fair to you. What is the alternative? Keeping a lie going so he's happy and you're not. Then what? It seems you know your heart and know that nothing is going to change. So telling him is the first part. Whether you choose to separate though is different. You might be happy being companions without love. Depends what you now want from life. Take care.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007):

The choices are:

1] Break up with him now -- yes, he'll be hurting, but he'll eventually heal.

2] Stay and be miserable.

I know it sounds cold, but it comes down to your happiness vs his. So you know what you have to do.

Really, when you think about it, you're not actually doing him any favours by staying because you're not giving him your all, and you're in a relationship that you know IS going to disintegrate at some point... by staying, you're just wasting both your time & his.

Let him go. The sooner, the better because you're freeing him to find a love that is 100% on both sides.

It will hurt both of you to do it, but it has to be done.

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