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female
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anonymous
writes: maybe i just don't handle things as well as others..i have been at this small company for about 3 years..i went through a bad break up which i am still not over and i feel like things were my fault..i wish he would give me another chance becauase i have truly learned from the mistakes i made like jealousy, not being independent enough etc..but it doesn't seem like that is going to happenI feel uncomfortable at work because i have been avoiding telling people we are broken up..he used to send me roses and now the occassions are coming up that isn't on the weekend and people are going to question this. I just feel almost embarrassed and i also truly think alot of girls deep down will be glad to hear this..sometimes people just like others going through something like this and not receiving those flowers anymore or having that person..i think deep down its true..people feel almost a tiny bit happy when they hear stuff like that..its almost like a competition for some..i know some would just be like oh yea we broke up awhile ago and shrug it off..i guess i am not like that.i almost want to quit before these occassions come up so i can avoid this. I am not happy there anyway and then i can just start new where noone knows me or the fact i went through this break upI know people go through worse..but it is how i am feeling..Just feel anxious..what should i do?
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female
reader, missontua  +, writes (16 July 2010):
 I'm so sorry to know that you're feeling like this. Even through words I can tell your sadness through them. Now it seems like there are two problems here. The first being, not telling people that you have ended your relationship and the second being, you are very unhappy at work. Let's start with the first one. First of all, why should you tell people you've broken up? It's not anyone else's business. If anyone questions it, just say 'ah we ended that a while ago' and walk away. We've all been there - the jealousy, not being independent and confident enough - it's not a bad thing as you can learn from it. I've been there! Secondly, your job. 90% of people are unhappy at work. You either strive through it and change your attitude, or, if you are independent enough (which you are) find a new job. Just make sure it's for the right reasons and not because you want to run away from your problems.
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