A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for eight years to a man that is an alcoholic. I partied with him daily until we decided to have children (we have two kids, a boy 5 and a girl 4) Our children came fast to us and there wasn't much time to adapt to our new lives as parents but I had to quit drinking and drugs cold turkey and I did it happily for our child. He on the other hand stayed exactly there and remained in that stage of life until 10 days ago when I asked him to leave. His drinking was affecting myself and the kids and I couldn't live another day like that. The next day he decided to go to AA and has gone nearly every day since. Now I don't know what to do because he is doing what I have been asking for the last six years but I fear it is too late. I am an empty shell of a woman and I know I have a lot of work to do and he knows he does too, but I don't know if we can do it living together. Can anyone offer any advice please?Confused in Canada
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female
reader, cuttieicy  +, writes (3 June 2007):
 hello confused put God into your life. For Him nothing is impossible
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (27 May 2007):
 You have both gone and going through a hell of alot here and the effects to your lifes is bound to mean emotional and physical changes in you both.
You took the first step which is commendable and very brave to do so, he is just taking those first few steps that you took all that time ago. Put yourself in his shoes.
I can only suggest marriage counselling to find out where the root of the problem lies. You feeling of an empty shell maybe an effect of your time spent with someone who drank away years while you went through hell to better yourself for the sake of your family and yourself.
Consider all routes to discover the problem, i dont think it is a simnple case of you not loving him anymore and believe there is more to how you feel than you may think.
You both have or are turning a corner wouldnt it be better and possobly bring you closer together knowing what you have done to achive the goals you both set yourself in relation to the drink but also your family?
I dont think love just disapears that easily and your vows of marriage are worth the effort to take every avenue to make this work if it can. Nothing is certain but you seem like a part of isnt sure really what the problem is find out where this road leads you before you make that big choice.
R
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (25 May 2007):
 hello confused
i completely understand where you are coming from. i gues good things can happen when we least expect them. your husband refused to change for six long years finaly when you put your foot down he realised you had been serious all this years. maybe the anger and dissapointment is the reason you feel the way you do right now. as he is sober now dont be linient with him you have the upper hand and dont give-up now your children now have a chance for some stability. suggest marriage counsiling and also take individual counsiling on the while he proceeds with his AA, he wants to make sure that u guys get back on track and if his feelings are genuine believe me he will do anything to keep his family together. if after some sessions you still feel there is no chance you will know you tried atleast then you will know what to do.
Jovial
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