A
male
age
41-50,
*lick4u_uk
writes:In August 09 i split up with my girlfriend over silly things like hardly seeing each other due to the distant.. anyway after the split we still continued to keep in contact via emails during working hours - she would continue to email me for advice on what i thought of everything including jobs she was applying for and i carried on responding and likewise i would also for her advice on matters and she would respond...because this continued i didnt make an effort to patch the break up as i thought she would always be there plus i was confused about how i really felt about her and wanted to know 100% if i wanted to make another go of it.....anyway in December i went on holiday and on the day i flew out i did speak to her on the phone to tell her i was off - now whilst i was on holiday her parents fixed her up with a guy which i didnt know about...anyway after i returned back from holiday she emailed me first thing in the morning welcoming me back knowing that i would pick up my mail when i land - we then exchanged loads of emails with each other and then as days progressed we continued to exchange loads of emails..one thing i noticed was none of them were flirtatious - they were more like questions or advice as she trusted my judgement - she had moved house so i was helping her with the legal stuff to picking furniture..anyway during my holiday i realised how much i did love her and how i wanted to spend my life with her so upon my return my intention was to see her and tell her how i felt so when i did come back i said i bought her a gift which i wanted to give her - she said she will let me know..so i waited for a while but now i couldnt wait so on New Years Day i text her to say to her i want to see her on the day - she said its not a good idea - why dont we speak about it on the phone - so i asked her why not - she said just - so i basically text her how i felt, how much i missed her and how my life was incomplete with her. i even said i cant change the past and i cant predict the future but i love her and want her to give me another chance to try once more..she responded by saying that is the sweetest text she has ever read but said since we split up she had been doing alot of thinking and decided the split was for the best - she said whilst i was on holiday a guy (her friends brother) put in a marriage proposal for her which her parents are very keen on and now she is getting to know him...she said if i would have said what i did few months ago then then things would have been different but at the moment things have changed...i then explained to her i needed the space to understand how i really felt and then i wished her and her new husband all the best for the future - i then said i now need to take a step back as her friend and advisor - she then rang me up and was crying and saying i cant leave just like that - she still wanted us to be friends and i am the second person in the world she trusts - the first is her best mate... we spoke for 90 mins she asked me do something for her which i was doing anyway - i said i will try and will let her know...anyway i did what i had to on the same morning and then didnt get in touch with her again (new years day) - she then tried to get in touch with me again when she was at work on monday via email asking me a few questions on furniture purchases and what her debit card password was - again i ignored her totally and left it at that..she then tried phoning me a number of times the following morning - i ignored her calls until i received a text message saying it is very urgent can i please ring her so i thought it would be urgent so i rang her - she just wanted to know that i was okay and said why am i ignoring her calls - i go will we get back together - she didnt answer so i said then whats the point of the heartache - she goes you find it easy - u can forget me tomorrow but i find hard - i go i never did find it easy - i said to her i would prefer it if we werent in touch as its not fair on all 3 of us - me, new guy and her - she agreed and wish me all the best and hoped i would find the girl i am looking for - i wished her and her future husband the best - again this call lasted 90 mins...i thought that was it - she has gone but then she got in touch few days later again asking me about a phone line that she wanted to connect to so i said if my partner is responding then i am more then willing to reply but if its not then it hurts to respond - she then text back saying why am i being akward - i then responded i am not bring akward - its just the way i feel about you - i would do anything for you but only if there was a future and since you have made your mind up its best i am left to be - she then responded and said ok as i wish, thanks for everything, she will sort it out herself - all the best..since then i havent heard from her - should i assume its all over...we got along so well - we had a very strong bond - i miss her loads..dont know what to do...
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at work, flirt, friend's brother, get back together, on holiday, split up, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): Have no contact with her, and see how you feel nearer the time, it's not your responsibility to look out for her now...
A
male
reader, slick4u_uk +, writes (15 January 2010):
slick4u_uk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwould there be any point in sending a card since by then i will know she has definitely decided that she wants to spend her life with the new guy she is with - her birthday is on the 31st...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): You really are in denayl about this arnt you. It is over.
Now you have to let it go, delete her number and stop helping her. let yourself get over this, trust me when I say this I do know guys that hang on to looooong dead relationships and they just wont see reason and are so miserable.
Is that what you want? The next step is you getting to go to their wedding you know. I do hope youll move on, a very special girl is out there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): Maybe send her a card, not 'love' and no 'x's, this might make her wonder ;)
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A
male
reader, slick4u_uk +, writes (15 January 2010):
slick4u_uk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses..
Since her last text, last Friday I haven't contacted her and she hasn't been in touch. If I don't here from her in the next month especially on valentines day then i know it is definitely over and she is happy with this new guy..
unsure if i should be texting her birthday wishes at the end of this month or should i not bother at all..
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A
female
reader, Dubis  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 All you had to do is let go.she ve made her choice.get another gal and start building another relationship
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): It sounds pretty conclusive to me, although by what you said I think she misses you alot and will begin to miss you more when you no longer speak, this is when her true feelings will be decided, for now though i think you should concentrate on anything but her, hard I know, but it's not fair on you.
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