A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony aunt.On a night out a couple of months back, I met a boy who I fell for literally from the moment I saw him (as cheesy as it sounds). We hit it off straight away and he wouldn’t leave my side for the rest of the night. He mentioned that he’d split up with his ex girlfriend of 6months the day before, but I didn’t think anything of it. Anyway, he missed his train as he didn’t want to leave me and subsequently ended up staying at my friend’s house with me. We stayed up most of the night talking and kissing and by the morning I was well and truly besotted. When he woke up I was slightly anxious as any alcohol would have worn off by then, and I’m well aware of what men can be like, but he gave me a massive smile and a cuddle and things were exactly the same as the night before, if not better. He stayed until late afternoon and we were getting on like a house on fire, flirting, kissing and giggling. I felt definite sparks and was thrilled when he asked to see me again that Friday. I gave him my number and we said a long goodbye under the pretence wed be seeing each other again soon. I went home floating on a cloud as I had feelings for him that I hadn’t felt before, not even for my ex boyfriend of 2 years! However, unfortunately, I soon came crashing down. Days went by, Friday passed and I heard nothing. I found this odd as he was so keen so I decided to look him up on facebook. I sent him a message simply saying “hey you :)” but again got no reply.. A few days later he changed his photo to one of him and a girl, who I later found out was his ex girlfriend. I know reading this it probably doesn’t sound like much, but it has really hit me hard. I haven’t felt like that about a boy before, he really got under my skin + I’m struggling to move on from it. I’ve had a different boy show interest in me since and want to meet up with me etc. but I didn’t feel like my heart was in it at all. I feel flat. I’ve never really been one for getting this worked up over a boy either, and had I read this before I met him I probably would have laughed. I don’t know what it is; I just can’t seem to move on from it. Any advice on what to do would be welcome please :-)
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ex girlfriend, facebook, flirt, his ex, kissing, move on, my ex, spark, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (9 May 2012):
 The fact that he only split with his ex the day before should have had alarm bells ringing in your head from the get go. Seems to me he was looking for an ego boost, possibly hoping that when he went back to your friends house with you the kissing and flirting would lead to more, then running off into the distance when the nights over. Then changing his profile pic to him and his ex.......I too would get upset by this as it probably indicates that they are back together.
As blunt and as honest as I have been here, I can also deeply sympathise with you as I have been in your exact situation one too many times in my life. Ive met guys, fell for them, sometimes even give in to their charms, only for them to vanish shortly afterwards. Unfortunately, its a way of the world for many, if not all, women. Im sure every woman has come across a player in their lifetime.
So what can you do now? Well, stop beating yourself up and accept the fact that hes gone, youve kinda been played but you didnt mention whether you slept with him or not, Im thinking that you didnt and for this you should be thanking your lucky stars. Learn to accept the horrible truth that you cant take everything at face value. If a guy is nice and charming and sweet, sometimes there is a reason for it and with players its because they use it to get what they want. Understand that you are not the first, and certainly wont be the last, girl that this has happened to.
Take it as a learning curve, move on and forget about it him. I know its easier said than done, but busy yourself with other things, block him from facebook and just get on with your life and please dont make anymore contact with him! Youre better than that xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): once a guy learns how to make a girl feel special he can turn the charm on to every women he meets.You feel special ahh so sweet.NOT! He can turn it on and off at will.You got played. It's like fishing dragging the lure to all the fish.Then throwing back the fish because it's too easy.Once the challenge is gone so is the guy.Look up the word "player"
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 It is not uncommon that people break up and make up later, within days or weeks. It should be odd to you that he just broke up but is suddenly keen and cheerful? No, he's just putting an act covering his loneliness. He's faking happiness until he makes it. Do you know why you were so hooked? The break up felt like a bad fall and he was desperate for female attention so he presented his best side in order to win your attention. It was as if all the energies was concentrated in order to stir up something within you. His ability to win a female all depended at that moment so he tried his best. That he did achieve. That was all he needed to be himself again, not that he wanted to be with you.
You should meet with the boy who's interested in you. You don't have to do any kissing or heavy petting. The point is for you to shift your focus and get yourself interested in another person. Also to feel attractive and confident again.
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