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female
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anonymous
writes: I've had this weird relationship with this guy for several years. We come together at crucial/difficult times in our lives almost instinctually, spend time together (sometimes romantically even if one or both of us are seeing someone else) and then lose communication for months at a time. He says he's in love with me, but his only response to that is "Now is not the time in our lives." What should I do? Why do we keep coming together if it's not meant to be? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2006):
Hello,
Relationships as well as dating there are key fundamentals that are geared to bring you the most success in the least amount of time but understanding these fundamentals are commonly over looked.
I would have responded to his “now is not the time” comment with “I suggest you reconsider your previous position on the current statement” Now is a better time than ever.
He would have responded with well right now I am going through a hard time in my life and I would have responded and that is what makes a relationship great the ability to be there for the other person and listen and provide for them and if he is unwilling to accept than that I would refuse to be the back burner person or the replacement.
What you need to do is limit your contact and communication make sure you remain busy and if and when it calls keep it short between 5-10 minutes long and then end the conversation stating you have things to do but he can drop you a line later you want to basically become a challenge and less available.
We as humans want what we can not have, chances are he is looking for something else or is currently dating or interested in another person and he likes the idea of having you on the back burner incase he needs someone.
For more information visit www.manenoughpros.com
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