A
female
age
41-50,
*un5353
writes:I have been dating this guy for 2 months,we meet up once a week for a dinner,cinema and then we end at his place.I got hurt by someone before him and now Iam afraid to get hurt again.He seems to be a nice guy and we have lots of passion. He does not call me and I don't call him either. Once a week he text me to ask when I am free and If I want do some thing. We don't talk about ourn relationship so I have no idea where do we stand. The problem is I am starting to like him and I don't know about his intentions. Sometimes I wonder if he only wants to have sex and nothing else. What do you think? Shall I talk to him and ask about us?
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female
reader, sun5353 +, writes (22 March 2009):
sun5353 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answer!What you said is right but what I have been doing everhything you said in this past two months.I am very busy and I also date other guys. I don't wait for his call. I have my arrangements and ususally to be able to see me he books a date in two weeeks in advance as he knows I am very busy. I am doing a business course and since I met him I have been very busy with it and I told him, I think he does not want to be incovenient as I did not give him too much room to aproach because I am the one very busy. I know he likes the sex and me too,however our dates are quite nice and we always do something.He likes restaurants and we have dinner very often. I have lots of friends and I always have many parties to attend and I have turned him down many weekends to attend my friend's parties and study.He knows that. We are both on facebook and he can see how much social life I have besides him.In fact I was ok with his behavior as I did not want get involved but now I am starting like him and I am considering to give more room to him butI don't know how to do that. He mentioned last time we met that he finds difficult to express his feelings and also he has been concious. He is very difficult to read and Apart from what I am doing I don't know what else to do to make him more interested.Please advise.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): You are just a booty call not even a friend with benefits. I don't know if you can turn a booty call into a relationship, try but I don't think he will be down for it. If he has feelings for you I'm sure he would text & communicate with you during the week but he doesn't. He just wants SEX..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): Nah, he isn't asking you out that often after 2 months, he is definately in it for the sex mostly, but that doesn't mean things won't change.
However, if you bring up "the talk" first, he will run faster than a crab.....so don't do it.
If you want to get his interest to go up, start dating some other men. What are you doing making yourself available for this guy and waiting around the phone for your weekly date with him? How predictable...and how boring for you! Guys like unpredictable, they like the chase and a challenge. You can play hard to get a little bit and that is not a bad thing, but the thing is you really would best to focus more on yourself and stop worrying about him.. Who cares about him? If he wants to take your relationship to the next level, he will start seeing you more often, nailing down all your free time, and most importantly, he will tell you how he feels first.
So what you want to do is start being busy with your own life and when he asks you out at the last minute or the next time he asks you out, be busy and really be busy.
He isn't calling you, he isn't all that interested in you, yet. But the key to that is to be interesting....start doing some things you enjoy and then you won't care so much about him.
Don't take yourself off of the dating market for this dud, start dating more guys, you can do it! And maybe you will find one who really likes you.
You said you've been hurt before, haven't we all, it is OK not to want to get serious with any one, but you will take the pressure off you and him if you just start either dating yourself and dating others....
Have fun, that is the main thing.
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