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age
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anonymous
writes: I have met this wonderful guy via a dating site on the internet. We were chatting, phoning, text messages, Skype messages and calls until the early hours of the morning. We were getting very close to each other and yeah, fond of each other. After 6 months we arranged to meet. He was going to fly to meet me the Tuesday, but then due to some business matter that he asked me, to assist him with, I flew the Friday to meet with him. We immediately clicked. We went to his lodge. He was the perfect gentleman, we had a lovely time. The Saturday we went back to town for business meetings. He had a room booked for me in a guest house, but obviously, I preferred to go with him to his house. We did everything, except penetration; we were really happy and it was a restrain to hold back. The Sunday I flew back home. The Tuesday he flew to me, we had meetings with clients, but we stayed in a hotel suite together and in between meeting with clients, which we did do very well and succesfull, we could not keep our hands from each other. I dropped him at the airport the Thursday, after some meetings. I did not hear from him until the Sunday, and then he suggested we take it slow with the relationship. saying he needs time to learn to trust a woman again ( I know he was heard in the past, but she is also still phoning him everyday with some stupid excuse, either work or the child). I told him that I am selfish and cannot see myself sharing the man in my life with an ex 24/7. So yes, I have made a few very nasty and sarcastic remarks. He is very quiet and reacts only on business issues, by text,have I ruined it?Is there a way that I can restore the situation to us being friends, what about what happened between us? How do I continue doing business with him? Do I forget about everything? Do I right it of to experience? This was really so real and so good? And the business side, must I just ignore it?Please give advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Thanks for the update. We come from different countries and we have different values, if you've managed to ge advice then we are glad we can help..... Take care of you babes, good luck and keep safe.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your time and effort answering me. I do appreciate your answers and accept the good advise. I have got a better perspective on it now. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): If you want him to come back to you or spark his interest again, even as friends, you really need to slow down and just let him go.
Like when he first told you that he needed space cause he couldn't trust a woman or whatever he said, you really didn't need to explain to him that you are selfish and deserve better. Of course you do. But you didn't need to spell that out for him. He wasn't questioning your value. He was simply saying he is not sure what he wants. That's all. Its no reflection on you, and you shouldn't have let on that you felt it was. A woman who knows her value and her place never feels the need to spell it out for a guy. If he doesn't want to be with her she says "Ok. Well let me help you pack." Just like that. No questions. No sarcasm. So why are you questioning his relationship with the ex? Why are you showing him that you are giving him that much importance? A woman who actually knows she deserves better doesn't try to convince someone that she deserves better.
You need to be a little more of a b*tch. Don't show that you are angry. Just let him go. Especially at this stage. I mean its not like you guys had that much invested. In fact, you both just met for the first time face to face just the other day. Its not like you were involved for years and knew you loved each other.
Look, I just recently got dumped by a guy who I was CRAZY about. We dated for three weeks and we were always together, had made future travel plans and everything. And then just like that he dumped me. Do you think I questioned it or was sarcastic? Not in the least. All I said was "are you sure?" He said "yes." And I said ok and I walked away. That was that. No questions. No sarcasm. No nastiness. I simply quietly walked away. My reaction showed him two very important things about me. One...that I respect him and I respect his decision. And Two...that I respect myself.
I cried my eyes out! But he never knew. I questioned my value, what I did I do wrong?, blah blah. I felt angry at times and indignant. But he never knew.
Since then he has contacted me a few times and tried to leave communication open between us. I personally don't mind, its been enough time since the break up. Most recently he wrote me a very sweet email saying how beautiful I look (from some pictures I have on myspace). I'll be honest, I do still have feelings for him. But I know that he is gone. I know that I need to keep my expectations at a minimum. In fact, I need to have no expectations. Its over. But if they respect you, they always come back in some way.
You got to let him GO. And stop showing him that you give him so much importance in your life. Are you fabulous? Hell yeah! Do you have a million things going for you? Sure! You gotta make it seem that his uncertainty is the least of your worries. And if he should come back, don't get your hopes up unless he tells you that he KNOWS that he wants to be with you. But if he just contacts you to say hi and see how you are doing, DON'T get your hopes up. Don't read more into it than you need to cause he is probably just saying hi and nothing more. In the meantime, please move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am in marketing, he has a product that needs to be promoted. I am well connected and can open doors in my province, and have been doing so. He came to my province to meet with the wholesalers, to introduce me to them. When I was up at his lodge it was to sovle problems at the lodge, from marketing to management. I had to formulate ideas and suggestions ( from experience) to get the resort more profitable and ways to market it more effective. I had to do a presentation to all the shareholders the Sateruday night.
All of this was fine, I know my field, and are good at my work, but this was more then just work. I did this for him, on a personal basis, this was not on a job assignment.
The rest of the work, marketing of his medical products is on an assignment. However, 6 weeks later no contract signed or finalised.
I am not stupid, neither I am I ignorant, I have all the basic draft contracts....this man is really very good. I trust him but...read the origanal posting....What must I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease look at this question very carefuly. It is complexed. It is a personal relationship on the one side but interwoven with business. That is why it is not just cut and dry, my opinion, but I might be wrong. I have given a lot of detail and info. If you need more please advise. I really will appreciate geniune answers, please no thumb suckers. If you cannot relate or do not have any suggestions, please do not thumb suck. Rather ignore my question instead of making a fool of yourself.
Honest good hearted suggestions are welcome and will be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I am trying to concentrate on work at this stage, but it is very difficult. He has withdrawn into his cage, only answers me the very basics and most important info re business. Sometimes I feel like telling him to take his business and.....He is not talking to me like usual, he is not even answering my calls. I reaaly don't know what to do....call it a day....send him with business and all to ....? I a really lost. There is so much opportunity for the business in my province, and I can promote and market it, but if I do not have the backing and support of him, the proprietor?
What must I do?
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female
reader, Hopeful4evaxx  +, writes (29 June 2008):
 Sounds like a difficult situation. I think this man got everything he hoped of to quickly and is scared of commitment. He is clearly fallin for you but he obviously dosent no how to react to that. The ex on the otherhand seems to be obsessed with him and clearly hasnt let him go, but before you get in to deep make sure he has let her go. Otherwise you will end up in a love triangle which will be difficult to get out of. Take things slow with him, dont rush in to it and if he is scared of commitment then you wont want to rush him as you will push him away. With the work thing, he maybe one of those blokes who always puts work first, the question is, can you except that? x
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