A
male
age
36-40,
*rummaster350
writes: I recently attended a wedding at the request of my mother who wanted me to meet the sister of the bride. I didn't know the family real well. I only knew that they were good friends with my parents. During the reception I was introduced to her and found her to be extremely attractive, polite, and intelligent. I was somewhat dumbfounded in her presence and I didn't really say much (I would just stare when she wasn't looking). She was considerably shorter than the bride and I assumed her to be the younger sister. Turns out she's the oldest and she's all I've thought about since the wedding. She's a 24 year old college graduate and I'm a 19 year old college sophomore. This doesn't deter me in any way but I'm curious how to go about initiating a friendship? I'm not a shy person but I'm one of those guys who doesn't like to appear forward or too interested. She probably doesn't remember me but my parents visit her home (she still lives with her parents) quite often. I don't want to suddenly appear at her home. I fear it would be too obvious why I was there. My mother tells me she's somewhat shy, so I don't fear rejection. How to do not make things so obvious?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): I'm pleased to note that you've at last seen sense!
Best of luck
A
male
reader, drummaster350 +, writes (10 March 2008):
drummaster350 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour right, I'm going to ask my mom to hook us up for a first date. I don't have anything to lose.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): You're still dithering and prognosticating then? You'll be too late if you're not careful. In fact, by the time you get round to doing anything about this she'll have married someone else.
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A
male
reader, drummaster350 +, writes (10 March 2008):
drummaster350 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat do you think she might perceive the age difference? Do you think it will make a difference to her?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): "Faint heart never won fair lady" - or so the saying goes. What I'd like to know is exactly what you think you have to lose? I'd also like you to tell me what you think you might possibly gain.
Chew that over if you will. I think you'll find the answers are 'nothing' and 'everything' respectively. Do what has to be done before some other guy gets in there before you! In your letter you can tell her that you were the guy that sat there looking at her in a trance with your mouth open. She may then remember you!
Don't waste another minute - get in there boy!
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A
male
reader, drummaster350 +, writes (10 March 2008):
drummaster350 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would love to do exactly what Uncle Phil says but I don't thinks she remembers me at all. Our conversation was a "hi, how are you" and I sat their with my mouth open. I think a letter or a random call from someone she said hi to at a wedding (There were like 400 people there) would weird her out. I do have the parental connection but I'm not sure how to approach that either. "Hey mom, I really liked that girl I didn't talk to." "Maybe you could set up a date." I don't know. I thinks I might be embarrassed to express my interest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Sounds like your mother is trying to do a little matchmaking! I suggest you either write her a nice little letter or call her on the phone telling her how much you enjoyed her company, and that you'd very much like it if you could meet up again for dinner / a movie / a theatre trip / whatever, and see what she has to say. If she's as shy as you are you'll have at least one thing in common!
Mothers seldom make mistakes when matchmaking, whereas fathers tend to make an almighty balls-up of it. Enlist your mother's help if you need to - about what to write or say etc.
Best of luck - although I doubt you'll need much of it!
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