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anonymous
writes: Me and my girlfriend are both currently in the Marine Corps stationed in South Carolina. We have been pretty serious for about six months and she will be getting out in a few weeks and I will be out in four months. I love her and her kids very much(she has two of them, 2 and 3 years old), but I haven't had much expereance with kids, they are normally living with her parents. I want to marry her but we are afraid I wont be able to handle suddenly having a wife and two kids to take care of, and that wouldn't be fair to the kids if they get attached and I suddenly leave. Also we are both from very different places, I am from NYC and she's from West Virgina which would be a big culture shock for me. If I marry her and move there I am afraid one day I would blame her and the kids for my not going to college, which I woudn't be able to do if I have a family to take care of. I don't know what to do and I need some advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2005): Hello, I understand what you are saying. However, looking at your condition it seems like you can't make up your mind in marrying the girl you love. If you have been pretty serious with each other since last 6 months, and you are still willing to carry it on then you should not be afraid of anything. Handling kids is not an excuse, if you love kids, you can handle any kid. Go around them, be familiar to them and try to know them. It's not like you wasn't ever planning to have any kids after your marriage. Another thing botheirng you is probably your background. Look, you guys have done well for 6 months and all of a sudden background is an issue for you. You are in South Carolina at the present moment, then why don't you just stay here with your girl friend's kids. They are still young and might get used to the new environment. In future, they can make their own decision of where they wanna go to school. I've never seen life as difficult because there is always a way to figure out the problems. Love is a great feeling to receive and maintain in life. And, if you really think you have ofund that one, then don't let it go. Who knows if tommorow is to come?
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