| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: i am going out with this guy for 2 years now. i lost my virginty to him which use to be a big deal to me, i trusted him thats why i did not have a problem in losing it to him. I got pregnant and had to terminate it because i was not ready. i later found out that i had HB from him.we have gone through so much together and i love him so much. But he is now engaged to another person and the reason why is because she is a british citizen and he wants a british passport. but my worry is that am wasting my time waiting with him, and he is spending so much time with this other girl. i really dont know what to do should i break it up with him. I think the reason why am with him is because i love him but also because we have gone through so much together. please help am confused.
View related questions:
engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2006): hey girl,
Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? That is the most important thing, communication. Tell him your feelings and insecurities about the other girl and ask him how he feels about you now. You should be able to judge yourself from the way he reacts and speaks. This is a big deal and a big change, and if he is reluctant to talk, then you probably know your answer.
It seems from my reading of your situation that you are too deeply ingrained into your past together, whereas, he has moved on since your "honeymoon days". You said that you have been through so much together - think about what these things are? Do they still matter now to you? Do they matter to him? Like you, I valued my virginity so losing it to my boyfriend was a big deal. You may be thinking "he's the right guy" and I lost my virginity to him, but that is certainly not the way to approach the question as to why you should stay with him. I know it is hard, but at the end of the day you would rather be with someone who cares deeply for you, than someone you lost your virginity to. You should stay with him if he still love you and he is still the right person for you - NOT because you lost your virginity to him. Having shared past experiences should make your relationship together stronger, but it should not be a reason to keep you together if there is no love there anymore between the two of you. You say that you "think" you still love him, do you actually love him now? Or do you just love him from what you used to share? If it's the latter, then you may have to rethink this relationship and move on.
Also regarding the engagement - did he talk to you about this first? Being engaged is a big deal, even if it's just for a passport. And if you feel insecure about it then you should talk to him about it. If the engagement is just for a passport, then ask him why he is then spending so much time with the new girl?
Ultimately, you want to be happy, and being stuck in a relationship where the guy doesn't respect or love you is pointless and you can do so much better for yourself.
Good luck with it all!
Much love,
Tania
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): its not worth it. just leave hime alone. just like you found him, you can found you someone else. i know you went thru so much with, but why waste your time? those are just memories. leave it in the past so that you could move on an be happy. its not healthy to stress yourself over him if he's with that other girl. you know that you're better than that. hope this helps.
...............................
|
