| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, im 21 years old my boyfriend is 20 we're both at university at the same one we met here and have been together around 19months, recently ive felt he's neglecting me a bit but he swears hes not and that he loves me the same as always and is a great boyfriend to me. He has just told me that the last few months have changed i've found porn even though he has photos of me in that way so i felt unattractive and he says i shouldn't be against him doing drugs if the occasion came up on mates birthdays etc, and he shouldn't ring when he's out. he's never mentioned any of this as a problem and when i try to put my feelings across he just says im stupid and irrational makes me cry. shouts and says he doesn't care erupting into me feeling worse and a bigger row lasting hours. I don't know where to go from here now i do love him and don't want to lose him but how i can i be sure he feels the same , plus its christmas and i don't want to feel down.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): Hi chicken
How awful,i know how it feels, trust me.
Firstly, finding porn or sexy pictures is most womens dreaded nightmare, so dont feel you shouldnt be angry, and dont feel that you have to be ok with this, because its not ok! It is a form of cheating in some respects and to some people, the pictures of you should be enough.And dont feel unatractive, although this day and age its hard to feel sexy next to these vitually enhanced airbrushed women, pain i know!
And to be honest, alot of guys arnt bothered how we feel, not in any depth anyway, nothing new, especially if he has alot on his mind etc
Feeling neglected is not a good thing, try going out to dinner, or somewhere where you can spend time togetherand talk, maybe romance will bring you closer?or even give hima sexy suprise that he wont forget for a long time?
We are very sensitive creatures, most of the time, they dont expect us to get upset and cry,and are suprised at this, so dont think hes a total jerk, sometimes guys need alittle education into how we feel, like we do them! if he knows exactly how you are and how you feel, he may understand you a little better? and remember! dont ever bottle anything up! talk! no matter how uncomfortable you may feel or embarrassed, communication is the key.
Loves and Hugs
carmen x
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