A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months now and had our first big fight the other night. We've been having a few communication problems in the past few weeks and we both knew that the argument was coming.It was about this girl that he's friends with. She always hugs him and they always flirt with each other (through texts, facebook and in person). On the night of our fight,we were at a party and i came out of the bathroom to find my boyfriend and her missing. So like any girlfriend would do, i went to find him with some of my friends. We eventually found them out in his car and she left pretty quickly after that. He told me that she burst out crying and told him that her mum has cancer but she has been telling other people, including her best friend that she doesn't. Because I'm a girl, i know that girls tell their best friends everything, no matter what it is.Later on during our fight, I found out that he talks to her about me and our relationship. he tells her personal things that I don't want people really knowing, let alone people I don't know but also hate for certain reasons. He also confessed to me that he thought at the start of our relationship that he thought she might try to break us up, yet he still stayed friends with her and flirted with her.Now he tells me that he wants to tell her about the fight and basically in my mind, that I am jealous of her and their friendship. He told me that she needs to know whats happening between us but i don't think she does.Is what I'm feeling over this normal or is it too possesive? And what should i do about this situation?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (25 April 2011):
As Aunty BimBim, I don't know why SHE needs to know about your relationship. It would be better to tell your boyfriend needs to tell her. Which is more understandable, as long as this girl is her friend and isn't someone wanting to break you apart.
The only problem here is your boyfriend. The other girl isn't part of your relationship. It's your boyfriend who has to care about you and protect your intimacy. And, in the end, is your boyfriend who seems to be ready to break you up.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Why on earth does he think she needs to know what is happening in your relationship with him?
Would he be able to answer that question if you put it to him? If you asked him why she told him about her mother's cancer but not her best friend, would he be able to answer?
Personally him telling her what is happening between the two of you would be the last straw: you need to decide where you want to draw the line, and then try and get him to see how his actions are affecting you.
If he doesnt want to discuss it with you, or your feelings I think you should just stick a big bow on his head and present him to the other girl, and dont forget to tell her he is your cast off and she is welcome to him
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