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female
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*oxy
writes: I am 25 years old and me and my man are in a long distance relationship. my boyfriend and I had a quarrel on sunday, I went to visit him at his place he went to work and did not come back to say goodbye to me when I left, I called him but he switched his phone off did not call me on the bus or the next morning so I had to call he told me that he was tired and so he turned his phone off and went to bed but his mother told me that he never came back.......I told him that maybe we should separate, but the worst part is I am 6 months pregnent and I am so frustrated , angry , sick I do not know what to do.Please help!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2006): As far as I'm concerned there is no reason for your bf to treat you this way. Quarreling is normal part of a relationship..it's a time when couples hash out issues, set boundries and learn compromise and negotiation skills. This is the mark of maturity. Sadly, there can be quarrels that do and can break down a relationship, depending on the emotional maturity of one or both the couple. It sounds like your bf, is hanging on to 'his' hurt feelings a bit too long, which is making you suffer, needlessly. So why is he doing this? Two possibile reasons come to my mind. Because he's immature and he can get away with it or ...he may not know how to communicate effectively, forgive, forget and move on. Some guys run from their problems to avoid further arguing. This is not healthy. Sounds like you have a problem. He has forgotten his role in your life and that of your baby. Because you are ready to give birth to his child in 3 months, a monumental responsibility that will test the solidarity and love of a couple. Especially when night feedings, round the clock diaper changes, baby illnesses, gassy tummies, teething, etc, etc....comes into the relationship. I would suggest you sit him down and tell him what you need in this relationship. And never be afraid to ask for what you want. Listen to what he says, too. But it's time for him to commit to you and his baby. If he can't do that, then you may have to consider going it on your own. Start making plans for this baby and yourself here. It does not matter how much you love him...your baby is now a primary focus. There is a strong possibility that he may never be there for you or the baby in the way a mother, and child need and deserve to be loved and cherished. You will have to discern that and make a decision. Take your time, try to stay positive and please find a support system in trusted friends and family. You may need it, hun. Take care of yourself and that baby. I hope things work out for you. You are in my thoughts.
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