A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There's a girl I work with - she's been at the company longer than me, and for the first few months after I started we didn't really speak much. I'm a bit shy, she works on a different department and the company is very strict on chatting during working hours, so I didn't really make an effort to talk to her.After a while I got to know some of the staff from other departments a bit better, including her. I immediately felt like there was a spark between us. On the few occasions we've actually been able to have a proper conversation, it's just felt so easy, so natural, so comfortable. Not how it usually is with me and girls I'm attracted to. However, she's now changed her shift, so I'll hardly see her at work, and she doesn't usually come with us on staff nights out.At this point I would ask her on a date, but... she has a boyfriend. I did overhear once that they weren't getting along, but that was a while ago, and even so I wouldn't want to interfere. I've only ever felt this way with one or two girls though, so I'm kind of reluctant to let it lie. Having never come across this obstacle before I'm short of ideas. Should I ask her out anyway and see what reaction I get? (I'm not sure if she knows I know she has a boyfriend, if that makes any difference). Ask her out just as friends, even though I'd like more than that?. Tell her how I feel and get it off my chest? Any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 Well i dont think its a good idea to ask her out just as friends as this will make you feel a lot worse in the end up. If she has a boyfriend then am afraid she is unavailable and you really need to try and avoid her and not get caught up in a relationship as someone will get hurt, if she is not happy in her relationship then its up to her to get out of it, maybe the next time you are talking to her then you could casually ask her does she have a boyfriend and see how she responds.
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