A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have a long distance relationship with my bf. I visit him once or twice a month. We are planning to move in together when we find a place, but it is taking longer than expected. Last month I had a fight with him about his phone calls with his ex. I got really upset to the fact that he was still missing his ex- after 4 years into our relationship. He never gave me an answer or an explanation for his act, so I was really mad and decided not to visit him this month. However, it's been over two months now, and I feel like we are out of touch and we have grown apart. I am devastated, now I feel bad for fighting too much and too long. The problem is that I do not trust him, and something in my heart tells me that he is cheating or trying to; which makes me very insecure and down. It is so hard, 'cause it is not like I could go to see him, we are very far away from each other and I love him deeply.The thing also is that I can't stop checking at his phone, e-mail, etc. I look at every little detail. I can't stop 'cause everytime I check I find something undesirable. Today, I found a reservation for a party of two at some restaurant that he did not mention to me...I don't know what to think?Help please, I am going crazy here, need some advice,...
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his ex, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): You admit that you don't trust him, you obviously have very little respect for him as you are checking his phone and other person items.
With all the above mentioned, please tell me why are you considering moving in with him?
What is holding you to this man?
Why not just move on?
I would suggest that should you stay in relationship or not, you consider getting some help.It seems that you are having difficulties with insecurities and lack of trust. This often leads to being either very clingy or even worse, being very possesive. These are things that are not healhty for any relationship and can destroy your happiness in this but also future relationships.
It is sometimes due to issues we suppress subconciously, and often things from childhood; but you will do yourself a great favour should you pay attention to this.
Lots of happiness and love for the future!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 You have possessive love and it is not easy for a man to accept you.
If you love him , you will need to close one eye and if you cannot , then you need to move on.
You do not appear to be high on his list.
To some man , his ex is sacrosanct ,untouchable and inviolable.
I am sorry .It looks like you love him more than he loves you.
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