A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boss are very... very close, as in sharing a bed close. we cant tell anyone about us as then one of us will have to leave. (there are 7 years between us)then there is his friend who i literally just become close to, i slept in his bed but we didnt have sex but i think he really likes me (there are 12 years between us)i have uber feelings for my boss, and he likes me too but as we cant say anything and because he is always always busy, he has no time for me really, the other guy has the time to put into me, but my dad does not approve because of the age gap.i really want to be with my boss, and i feel awful for being close to his friend (which my boss knows about) but he is giving me the attention i want.plus my boss may have to move away up country soon and i will have to stay for my uni.neither of us want a relationship as such, but we want to get close,,, but dont know how or if it is right.what do i do!?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): Hi. Old person here. Not ancient, but old. 46, to be precise. No. Seriously. No. No getting close to your boss sexually. No mowing over boundaries with him or his friend. This is really not for their protection, though it will have a good result for them. It is for yours. Unless your boss is the worst sort of predator, he would not even consider sleeping with someone who is accountable to him. Think of it this way. You like attention. You like validation. Maybe you are a bit of a romantic. Well and good. There are other outlets for romantic energy. If you MUST have a lover, (says the old fogey with a frog in her throat), make a sane, personal choice that will not come back to haunt you at work. On the other hand, there is, strictly speaking, no actual REQUIREMENT, for you to select someone for boyfriend status. You could, if you so chose, go out with lots of fellows in groups and have lots of attention and lots of social fun that does not require you to give your heart, your body, your very self into the keeping of anyone less than your personal Prince Charming. If I recall correctly, the course of true love didn't run true for the lady fair in that story either. But happily ever after, or some version of it, might best come after the ring, marriage. You get it. Sexual adventuring is not all it's cracked up to be. Often, it's the participants who crack up as they encounter the emotional and physical fallout of relationships gone awry. Serial monogamy is often considered the norm in western cultures today. Trying to avoid the "serial" side of that will net you a better potential result in the long run, as you will have less baggage to deal with. People who say that "practice makes perfect" sexually kind of ignore the emotional and spiritual connections, and disconnections, this casual attitude fosters. Okay. Monologue over. Your kind indulgence in considering my opinion and treating it as kindly meant, if not on target, is appreciated.
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