A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For the last 4 months I have been trying to organise a weekend away with my boyfriend as we do need some quality time urgently. Every weekend he plays rugby which makes it impossible to go away. This weekend he told me that he didnt have rugby and we could go away, so I organised a beach house for this weekend. This morning he called and told me that we cant go because he has to play cricket. I was very upset at the fact that I organised it, and he awlays seems to put his sport in front of our relationship. Because he heard I was upset, he slammed the phone down on me and will not pick up my calls. He seems to be avoiding this quality time that we need. I dont know what to do, Im hurt and starting to think that something else must be going on. Please help, anyone else know this kind of behaviour, is there something that Im not seeing? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (14 March 2007):
No, you are seeing it. He doesn't want to spend a weekend away with you.
I could understand if he simply had an ongoing rugby commitment - of course he wouldn't be able to go away then.
But when he has a week off, you discuss & agree to organise a weekend away, and then he lets you down at the last minute in order to do something (cricket) which has has just arranged.....
what he's saying is that he'd rather do anything than go away for the weekend with you AND he's happy to let you down (i.e. hurt you) at the last minute
And now he's not answering your calls?
My advice: don't make any more calls. Write him a short note with your conclusion that he doesn't care about you and doesn't want to see you, and that you intend to put your energy into someone who does, and not him. Then move on.
Shit I know, but better to face it now, than to put up with this for years, particularly if you unfortunately got yourself overly committed (e.g. got pregnant or something).
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): Yes i can relate to exactally what you are going through,but with me its football.I really dislike football but in the past i have put up with it for the sake of our relationship.But now i realise im not as happy as i should be due to the fact that football more or less dominates our relationship.I go round to see him and football is on the television.I questioned him one night to ask why have you got the football on when you are not really watching it,the reply i got was but im listening to it.I then made my excuses and left and left him to it as he knows very well i cant stand football but lately its been in my face 24/7.Just the other day i made plans to go round to see him knowing full well football would be on the television that night and when im normally due round his i texted him to say sorry i wont be in afterall as i cant put up with another night of football so im going out to have a life instead of being bored watching football.He texted me back with just a OK and i thought fine yes it is OK.For a few days after i could tell he was sulky about this and i thought sorry what do you expect.And i even told him i feel like im second best after football and i dont have a problem with him watching the team he supports but now i feel you are taking advantage by watching every game thats on the television and if things do not alter then you can have all the football you want while i get the hell out of this relationship and start to get some fun back in to my life.So far he has narrowed down the amount of football he watches but at the same time when theres football on im taking time out from being with him and going out doing the things i like.And if he cant except this then i will wake up the to fact that the relationship will go downhill.
...............................
|
