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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We're in our early twenties and we are very much in love. I'm a virgin, he's not, and he's been wonderful the entire time about not pressuring me into anything im not 100% comfortable with. We've only ever gone up to oral sex and nothing further b/c i wasn't sure if i wanted to wait until marriage or not. Anyway,the other night we were kissing and cuddling(sorry if i'm making u nauseous), which led to oral sex. During this time, he turned to me and told me he really wanted to make love to me. I really really wanted to but i wanted at least 2 methods of contraception (just in case), and i'm not on the pill yet. He only had condoms. I told him i couldn't and he understood and said it was fine and that he wasn't going to make me do anything i didn't want to do. I feel like it was a perfect night and the timing was so perfect too, and i'm afraid it's never going to be right again. I almost changed my mind too, but i stayed strong with my decision. I want to lose my virginity to him so badly because i love him so much and i trust him with all my heart. Do you think i'll have another chance and feel like i did that night again? thanks for listening
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): Yes, I think you'll definately have the chance to feel that way again, especially since you both have such strong feelings for each other. In my opinion, it is by no means immoral to have sex before marriage, but it's great to have someone with you who you know isn't just using you for the sex. The fact he's never pressured you speaks highly of him, in my opinion. It's very smart to wait till you have two forms of contraception; it means you'll be able aviod any nagging worries afterwards. I've had a pregnancy scare, and believe me it's terrifying!
Above all, just relax about it. Everyone wants their first time to be perfect, and I definately believe that now you feel ready for it, more such moments will come along. When it does, just relax and enjoy it. Looking back, it's not so important whether your first time goes flawlessly or not; sex tends to get better with experience. What's important is that you can look back and know that it was with someone you truly love and respect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): So if he loves you so much and respects your desires and wishes; why hasn 't he thought to make you and honest woman and let you be a young woman of integrity and marry you?
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A
female
reader, honkifuluvnicole  +, writes (19 November 2006):
 I think what you did is so impressive. And your guy sounds wonderful too. And Im really glad that you stood your ground on this one. And of course there will be another time like that. Maybe not exactly the same, maybe even better. So good job sweetie, and just wait it out, time will tell...it always does.
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A
female
reader, b3x  +, writes (19 November 2006):
 You bagged yourself a good guy there babe, total respect to him to be honest.
Coming from his point of view, I can understand how frustrating it is to already be sexually experienced and then meet someone who is not. That's not a bad thing though, he must not be frustrated at all (I speak for myslef on this point) He loves you so much, and for him to have the patience and not pressure you at all, you got to give it him!
You say you don't feel comfortable with him? Why do you feel like this? You have already been intimate with him, as you say you have done oral sex, so it must not be a sexual insecurity? Or is it? Maybe you should think hard about what it is that might be stopping you, with no pressure on yourself of course!
I am totally positive that you'll get another night like this, being intimate in anyones case happens regulary (again I speak for myself here!) I agree on having two forms of protection too, I am on the pill but I still use condoms with my partner, I know he is not riddled with STI's but I think its respectful in some cases, plus what goes in must come out! (sorry for my vulgarity)
Talk with your boyfriend and explain that 'this' night you really wanted to make love to him, but was unsure for some reason, maybe he can help you figure this out, or maybe you already know why, you say you might want to wait for marriage?
He loves you and you love him and making love to someone who you have a strong emotional connection with makes having sex a million times better, I think you should go with what you feel like doing, but all in all, make sure you don't regret it, you have a wondeful guy who respects you so much that he hasn't pushed you! Enjoy him, girls would love a guy like that!
Make sure its special for you both, you only have your virginity once, much love xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): Get your birth control all figured out ( but dont tell him) and then make sure you are all adjusted and ready and then just tease him- have a nice dinner and whatnot. You can make the night yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): As you said he loves you alot and you love him too, im sure that night will definetely come again. the night you decide to make love to him will surely be passionate as you've decided you want to lose your virginity because you love him alot. any couple that is passionately in love, their first time together will be great. i hope that night comes for you again. good luck x
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