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female
,
anonymous
writes: My fiance and I hit the 7-year-itch back in 2004 and decided to split. We spent little time together and had become more like friends. We were due to marry the following year and had our own house, etc, so the break up was extremely painful in certain ways but we both thought it was for the best. I then got together with a close friend a few months down the line. I think this was mostly out of comfort initially, as we had both just parted with our fiance's, and it gave me hope that I wouldn't be left on my own forever more. As much as I became settled with my new partner (and have been ever since) there's been a part of me that aches for my first partner, especially after he started dating. It's been 2+ years now and still I miss him. My new has proposed and we are due to marry next year and we are in love with each other, so why can I not move on and erase my ex from my memory, especially seeing as the only communication we have seem to have is arguements that leave me in tears? Why can I not move on and 'draw a line' under my past with my ex?
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (3 May 2006):
 I'm going thru something very similar. I was with this woman for 6-1/2 years. We broke up due to somewhat of the same thing. You will always love this person. You shared a life with them for 7 years. He will always love you thats probably why you all argue when you talk and keep talking. You both would rather have a fight than nothing at all. You should have taken more time alone before jumping into a relationship for comfort. Now you are embarking on a new marriage from a rebound. If you have any feelings for your current fiance then you should take time and deal with your feelings about your ex. You would rather deal with it now then be married with children and HAVE to deal with it. You can't drive a car forward looking in your rear view mirror.
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