A
male
age
30-35,
*wifty
writes:my ex gilrfriend and i were together 2 years when we broke up do to fighting for like a month. we were fighting do to stress in our seperate lives and our relationship as acouple. but we didnt brakeup over or during a fight we brokeup on goodterms agreeing to a brake.we have been broke up 3 months. afterwards she called or txted me everyday even the day after we brokeup,she said im still her bestfriend and she contacts me a lot and gets mad if i dont try to contact her on my own. she says she just wants to be best friends for now. she doesnt wanna be together right now. eveytime we talk about our future together she doenst give me an answer never in 3 months has she said we are done or i dont think we will get back together or that we will its she always leaves it up in the air but when we talk about our past togehter she gets upset and cries. she kept the pictures of us together up in her room and said every little thing reminds her of me. eveytime we see eachother she hugges me and sometimes doesnt wanna let me go and holds me for while and sometimes during the hug she says she misses me and gets she gets upset. please give me your thoughts on this. i really want her back. thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): Your girlfriend sounds confused, and this is mostly because she can't let go. When you've been together a while adjusting to a new situation is really difficult. She's keeping you as a safety blanket. I'm sure she still loves you but as I've learnt loving someone and being with someone are two seperate things.
If you want to clear the situation tell her you need to set some boundaries. She can't keep you hanging on. It's not fair to you. Good Luck!
A
female
reader, intriuged  +, writes (25 February 2010):
swifty
if she hasnt givin you an answer in three months then unless something changes in the dynamics of your relationship then she never will. You need to ask her were you stand and that either she wants you to be together or she doesnt. you may not like the answer you get but at least you will know were you stand and you can begin to move on with you life. My question would not be weather or not she wants to be with me but why am i allowing my self to be treated like this. If it is a break she needed than a break is what you should have took with no contact what so ever and for a set amount of time. This would of allowed you both to get the clarity needed in order to see what you both want. With this said why are you allowing you need to be left unmet..........................
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Stress alone cannot break two people apart, only if you let your emotions escalate and blame each other for feeling worse. Whenever one of you raises your voice, your must remind each other it's unnecessary. You are in a serious relationship and can no longer go back to just friends. You are basically just switching gears to adapt to a challenging situation. I can see you two getting more physical gradually. Just let it happen naturally and stop using words to trigger each other's fear and insecurity.
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