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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a lot of history with this guy. We were going out on and off for a year, I lost my virginity to him in July, we broke up for the last time in October, and were sex buddies for about a month after that. I really miss him and want to be with him, but don't know in what way. He showed me respect when we were going out, but I don't get any anymore, he just thinks he can pick me up and put me down as he pleases with no regard for my feelings. I'm torn as to whether I want to get backtogether with him as we broke up so many times I always ended up getting hurt. We had amazing sex but being sex buddies with him was a total headf**k, and I seem to have no interest in anything sexual with any other guy anymore, although I've tried. I used to love spending time with him, but when we met up as friends we always ended up taking it further. I miss being with him like hell, but I don't know whether I miss him as a boyfriend, a sex buddy, or whether I just miss him as a person. How do I find out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Look at what these all-consuming feelings for this fellow (who doesn't deserve you) has done to you. You are allowing him to 'play around' with you. Please let this one go and save yourself. He's not a asset anymore, he does not benefit your life. He's become a liability, he's dragging you under, he doesn't respect you causing you not to respect you, he has no regard for your feelings, he dumps you and leaves your heart broken many times, and on and on. What is all that telling you, dear? How much more are you going to withstand, hun? Givingness, and compromise in a relationship is very necessary for it's success, but giving and getting nothing back...is denying the core of who you are not to mention just plain dumb. This relationship is depleting you, there will be nothing but resentment, bitterness when he finally has decided...it's over for good. Dear, this man does not love you in the way you deserve. I think you know that. Go through the tough work of letting go...heal...recover and reclaim yourself. If you remain with him and tolerate this poor treatment, then all I have say is get ready for the final outcome. It will be a heart-breaking crisis for you, with no one but you to blame. Before it gets to that..keep your self-respect intact and say "thanks, but no thanks" Ciao! After you get over the pain of loss and you recover (and you will!), in time...I can assure you--you will never, ever regret this decision, to walk away from all this! Keep us updated and I wish you all the best my dear. xxoo
A
male
reader, db930luvme +, writes (21 November 2006):
you should not be his blow up doll thats not cool you dont like it anymore so you need to tell him and if hes not cool with that than let him go you need someone to love you and enjoy spending time not just sex buddies that damaages people
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