A
female
age
30-35,
*hehype
writes:i went out with this guy for about 8 months ( First bf and lost virginity to him). We hooked up for about 3 months after. We broke up cuz he was going to college and we didn't want to do the long distance thing. It was really sad cuz we both still loved each other. We were both crying, but i know that if he really loved me, he would have at least tried to be in a relationship. We remained friends since we both have the same circle of friends. Even when he was going to school at university, i traveled to see him 4 times. Now i go to a college near him and live walking distance from him. We see each other every week, if not 3 times a week. we slept in his bed like 5 times without even touching each other cuz i was staying with him or id be too tired to walk home. We hadn't done anything with each other for 5 months, but the other night, we ended up having sex out of no where. Even he was wondering what we just did.The problem is i still have feelings for him and i dont know what to do. I feel like if i talk to him, he'll just say he lost all feelings for me and i'll feel retarded cuz it should be evident without words. It's been a year since we broke up and i havent had that aching feeling in my stomach for a long time, but i think i will always have feelings for him and im scared.
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broke up, long distance, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, thehype +, writes (30 June 2009):
thehype is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK so im completely over this guy. It took a while, but i feel so good now! :-) It took about 2 years, but time was the only cure. We are friends now and everything is perfect. Thanks everyone!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Dear Poster
I think you have your answer; It is now up to you to make a decision; what do you want?
Think about this very carefully;
My thoughts and prayers are with you;
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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A
female
reader, thehype +, writes (30 September 2008):
thehype is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni talked to him. it was a one night stand and he only knows the girls name. But he said hes not over me completely, but he just distracts himself with other things. And he says he gets jealous, too, but just tries to wipe things off his mind. He said hed be there for me if i ever wanted to be friends. So now, i guess its up to me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Dear Poster
I can imagine that it must have been a shock and a surprise to you to find the condom wrapping; but I still suggest you talk to him. You will be guessing and have all sort of images in your mind, you will only know the TRUTH if you talk to him. Then you will have closure; then you can decide which way to move forward.
MY thoughts are with you.
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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A
female
reader, thehype +, writes (28 September 2008):
thehype is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, so i was at his house today and i saw my earings on his table and right next to it was a condom wrapper. so guess hes havin sex with other girls. now what do i do? i know when we had sex he hadn't had sex in a really long time. But i guess now he is......ahh im stuck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): Dear Poster
Thanks for the update. Plan your meeting carefully; timing is very important; he must be relaxed and try to minimize outside interference.
My thoughts are with you; Best wishes, keep us updated and always keep SMILING.
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A
female
reader, thehype +, writes (25 September 2008):
thehype is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much. I'm thinking of a good time to talk to him. I really want to, but trying to figure out when the best time to talk to him would be. You're right about being honest with him.
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A
female
reader, thehype +, writes (25 September 2008):
thehype is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much. I'm thinking of a good time to talk to him. I really want to, but trying to figure out when the best time to talk to him would be. You're right about being honest with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Dear Poster
I can understand your emotional turmoil; however, you have to talk to this guy; if you still have feelings for him and if your feelings from the past are reigniting it is very important you need to clear with him where you are heading with this "friendship"; as you mentioned you have recently had sex; this will become more and more emotional for you and if he is not sharing the feelings and emotions; vow, if you are only a friend with "benefits" to him it will be best you stop before you get more involved and more hurt.
There unfortunately is no other option but to have an honest discussion about your feelings and ask him about his; maybe he is sharing your emotional turmoil and is also scared of you not feeling the same way.
If he does not feel the same way at least you will know where you stand and can MOVE ON rather then hanging on HOPING that something more might develop again.
Rather be a "fool" for a minute and know the truth.
Arrange a nice romantic meeting with him. Somewhere where you can chat without lots of interruptions and have a good HEART to HEART chat.
Hope this is of some assistance and that you will get your answer soon.
Keep me posted.
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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