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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Dear cupid! My boyfriend of almost two years dumped me because he said he couldn't be himself with me anymore. We share a bank account together,we bought a big purchase together such as a TV and we share a phone bill where hes the authorized user. He broke up with me almost three weeks ago but recently he paid and our phonebill. The week before he dumped me he paid 1000 for a family crusie that's coming up in July. I havent heard from him and and am way to fragile to contact him. What should I do? I just want to settle all of thos so I can move on with my life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2019): If he makes you any promises regarding refunds, compensation, or repayment over time; GET IT IN WRITING! Record any phone conversations regarding the return of funds, promising repayment, and promising to cooperate.
Record and/or keep record of your due diligence to collect money you are owed. If there is no proof, it never happened.
Save all your bank statements, text messages, and phone bills to identify your calls. Separate his transactions, late payments, or overruns made after he left. Billing should include any other services provided in your phone/internet service contract.
Get him to sign a repayment-agreement, and have it notarized. DO NOT TAKE HIS WORD for anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2019): Separating a bank account get's a little tricky; because most banks require both parties available to authorize changes on the account. You better withdraw whatever you can before he cleans it out!
I would go to a service location for the particular carrier you're signed-up with; and find-out how to get yourself off the phone bill. Determine if you can have your service separately billed.
If you're on a two or three-year plan; there will be a large fee for ending the phone service-contact early. Some providers only payoff your old contract; if you buy a new phone, and obligate yourself for a costly plan.
Terminating a contract gets dicey with some phone/internet service-providers; because they protect themselves and their own interests, when you sign-up for these special bundles. They are snarled and not easy to get out of. It's all in the fine-print. They make it difficult when the authorized-user won't cooperate. That's why you have to know how to get out before you sign on the signature-line. It's not like a divorcing-couple who can get court-orders.
You'll need to look for receipts for everything you've paid for. You may even need to talk to a lawyer to determine if you can file a small-claims suit. The laws differ from state to state, if you're an American.
There isn't very much you can do. You don't go intertwining credit and bank accounts with people you're not married to; because there are no laws to protect you from risk, or to protect your credit.
You need to get yourself "un-fragiled!" Determine what he intends to do about compensating you if he wants to keep the TV? You will also have to determine if this is going to be amicable, or will you need to fight him in court.
If he is emptying accounts and making big purchases; he plans to break you as well as dump you. The sooner you get your act together and prepare for a fight; the better-off you'll be. Let's hope he's grand-standing and has every intention of splitting things down the middle; but get your legal-ducks in a row, that's unlikely to be the case.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 June 2019):
 Take yourself off the phone bill and either switch provider or get your own account. If you are in the US plenty of phone companies will pay the expense of you switching.
Open your OWN bank account ( or IF he is on yours, take him off) and make sure all deposits (salary, YOUR bills gets paid from that one from then on).
You need to let go of the being fragile and take charge or you will be left with bad credit or debt.
Who got the TV? He did? If so (and you don't OWE anything on it) send him a REGISTERED letter request 1/2 the cost of the TV and ask for him to send you the money through a money order or check.
NEVER share a bank account with someone you aren't MARRIED to.
Get on it, TODAY.
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