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female
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anonymous
writes: why is it that he wanted to be friends after the breakup but he says that he's still uncomforable around me? We had a perfect relationship but he wanted to end it cuz he just wanted to be friends for right now.I mean i want to ask him to hangout sometime "just as a friend" but im scared cuz im afaird that hes going to reject me or make up some kind of lame excuse. I dont want to be pushy but i know that hes not going to make the first move on this issue. Im going to stand back for awhile but how long should i wait to ask him to hangout?We been broking up for about a month and a half now. I see him at least once a weeek on the weekends. We hug and talk just like we use to but i asked him one time out of the blue cuz i was getting the impressing that he was uncomforable around me and i asked him if he was and he said yea a bit. I dont know why i mean im a great friendly person and im really laid back and everything. Could it be the way he ended it that is making him uncomforable and the fact that im showing that im ok and happy after what happend......(but really im not happy i just act like i am around him) I can tell hes not doing ok cuz you can just tell by looking at him.I mean we were bestfriends since 8th grade. We have had feelings for each other ever since. Now we are both 20 and we decided that we be bf and gf but it only lasted 3 months and he was the one to tell me that he loved me and that he couldnt see his life with out me. Im now afaird that its never going to be right between us again. I dont regret taking our friedship to the next level like we did. Im just afaird of losing him out of my life. He is a great person and was a great lover but i dont know how to handle this now. I love this man with all my heart. And i know that now we are "friends" i cant have nothing more then that but i would like to keep it at friends basic for right now i just dont know how to ask him to hangout with out him feeling like i want more.If anything was to happen between us romantically again it would have to be on his terms not mine cuz i wont and will not make first moves on him. I never have either. He was always the first to make the moves on me. I just need advice or something. Please help!
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 Hi there,
I think since u have been friends for a long time u should feel free to ask him why he feels uncomfortable being your friend now. If his friendship does matter to you then u have to talk to him and find out what his concerns are. Address those concerns and make him realise as u said here that u will respect his decision to stay friends since that is what u feels he wants.
Just be careful honey becos i can see here that u really do love this guy. You have to protect your heart as well and try not to stay too close in the friendship so that u dont get really hurt in the long run.
Goodluck dear
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