A
male
age
26-29,
*rBigShot110
writes:On January 20th, I met this girl at a club and got her number. The next day, I texted her and since we were both bored, we ended up going meeting at the mall later on. Instant connection... We had the best time. Afterwards, we continued texting each other and she said that I had had her really wanting to see me again, etc. She also asked me if I would kiss her next time, but that's irrelevant I guess haha. Anyways, things got hotter over time and I ended up at her house about a week and a half later. After a bit of talking, she ended up on top of me and we kissed. The remainder of that evening was spent her couch hugged up together aside from dinner with her parents. No I didn't spend the night in case any of that was confusing. After another week of talking, sexting, etc. she came to my place for a bit and it was basically the same except there was more kissing. After she left, we talked until we went to sleep. The next morning when I woke up, something didn't feel right. I could just feel that she was thinking the same thing. I thought about it for a while and decided I would wait things out a bit. A day turned into a week of no contact from either us. I was hoping i was wrong but I think a part of me knew somthing was very wrong. I waited until Valentine's Day to text her (ironically, a week and a half before this we were talking about doing somthing special... funny how things work). I told her that I felt distance between us and she agreed, telling me how she wasn't feeling it like she was. The question "Are we on the same page then?" came up. I told her that I wasn't sure and that part of me still cared. Once again my instinct was right and she said she felt the same way. I told her the way I saw it there were two ways to go. Either try to fix it or stop now. She gave me the "Let's be friends." line, which is basically the nice way to say stop here. I told her that I knew we wouldn't really talk. She responded by saying "I'm sorry." My words were "I don't really know what to say." She said "I'm really sorry." The last thing I said to her was "Thanks for all the fun memories." There was nothing until five days later when I asked if she still felt the same to which she responded she was having fun being single because she hadn't been in a while, which is understandable. I told her that I understood the feeling n that I'd had it before, but I was over it. I haven't spoken to her since then. I know that last sentence seemed a bit desperate. Anyhow, I can't help but feel that once she's had her fun she'll try to come back. I just don't know how to feel. Part of me still cares, part of me doesn't want her. I don't understand how one day it's hot and you're doing everything short of sex and the next day it's vanished. Never a fight or bad moment, it was just gone. Maybe this is just my head and my anxiety/ocd obsessing over the past. Maybe this is a sure thing. I have no clue and need to know how I should feel. My rational side says to forget and move on, which I'm sure most of you will agree with. For me it's just not that simple. My head won't let me do that. Any answer is gladly accepted but I prefer you leave me no option to ask extra questions haha. Meaning, I prefer long descriptive answers that fully explain what I need to do to get through this. Thank you all so much for listening (reading) through all of my questions. Your time means alot.
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female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (25 May 2013):
 HI
you need to except it for what it was and move forward. She wants to stay friends so if you can deal with that then that's all you can do. If you can't then just slowly back away more and more each day. IF for any reason she decides she's bored and wants a relationship again tell her no you would rather stay friends, don't allow yourself to be her fallback guy.In life your going to meet plenty of thorns before you find your rose, you will both know when you have met the right person, if it went sour that quickly you definately are not meant to be. You will find that special one soon enough.
Mandy x
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