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writes: Dear Cupid,My name is kim and i've been in a committed relationship for four years and five months. My boyfriend and i love each other very much. Until about april i had been completely faithful, then had a brief one week affair with a gorgeous argentinian musician and model who i have been intrigued with for many years.To cut a long story short I got caught and confessed to my boyfriend about what had happened and why i did it....because i was totally infatuated with this gorgeous man and because it was the first time in a long time that someone other than my boyfriend paid me that kind of attention.When i told my boyfriend, he came clean with me as well as told me what i had suspected throughout our relationship....that he too had cheated on me, from about 6 months into our relationship. Although he never slept with anyone like i did, he did continue to cheat on me throughout our relationship. We both regret the impact our actions has had on our relationship, but i seem to think that the fact that he did it throughout our relationship is a lot worse than me only cheating on him once....granted i did the worst thing possible... i still feel that way....am i wrong?Also as much as i regret what this has done to our relationship and how much this has hurt him....i don't seem to regret my actions, in fact i feel quite liberated with myself about what i did and it's made me feel beautiful and sexy that someone else could desire to be with me in that way.Since we came clean with each other I have been totally faithful to him and have made up my mind that i love him dearly and want to be with only him. While we started afresh i did still keep in contact with this guy through email and chat for about a week and then completely lost all contact when i decided that this is not good and that i need to stay totally focused on my relationship.Since then i have been 100% committed and have fallen completely inlove with my boyfriend again. But recently he logged onto my email and saw that i had been in contact with this guy for a while after we decided to start fresh and has now broken up with me.We decided to be friends as he feels he feels better about me in this way than he does as my boyfriend.and as my friend he no longer resents me as he did when i was his girlfriend and it will be easier for him to get over what i did. This is over a week period...can his feelings just change like this over night? Things is...we still see each other every day and still sleep with each other, but when we are in company he is completly cold with me and this hurts me.OUr families are very close, i have told my parents about our break up, but he has still not told his parents and when we are around them he acts like nothing has changed.This situation of "being friends" is really killing me on the inside...i don't think i can deal with this. he says he needs time and maybe we can be together again...but he can't say when...he says maybe next week...may next month...maybe next year...maybe never! I can't deal with hanging on a line like this. I feel either we should try and work things out now and be togehter or we should split completely so that i can start to heal my heart and get over him and maybe one day we can be friends again...what do you think and what do you suggest i do.please help.Kim
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2006): he might off just had enough of everything and decided to just forget having a relationship with you i dont think it is possible to loose feelings in one week unless he has found someone else
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reader, lora +, writes (16 June 2005):
Talk to him about how you feel;"I feel either we should try and work things out now and be together or we should split completely". If he isn't happy with starting again now, don't waste your time on him. Then if he does finally wake up, you can see how you feel about him then.I'm with my boyfriend for 8 months and I know what you mean about wanting to be desired by someone else but if you both cheated I don't think there's any point in this relationship. I dont think either of you are ready for such a relationship as you both have proved by cheating.
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