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age
51-59,
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writes: iam a 41 yr married male and have been married for 10 1/2 yrs we seperated for 8 mo and she called me to see if she could come live with me and try to work thimgs out after she had lost her job in arkansasi had moved to indiana and been doing well to get on with my life but never went out with anyone while we were seperated by no means have i been a prince and accept i was to blame for some of our problems and i have been going to counseling every week to help myself and to change the things i have had difficulty with in the relationship i have taken her back and she had told me she wanted things to be different but when she got here she has not held up to what she promised to do and says she has no issues and wont go to counseling with me i have always been a very sexual person and she used to be very sexual also but now she says that sex does not play a big role in a relationship and she has not been affecionate wont cuddle hold hands and when i go to hug her she is very distant my question is what do i do or can someone suggest a way for me to get her to respond to me after all this time apart i am getting very frustrated and and at my wits end does sex matter in a relationship and if so how often or shall i say intamacy and how often should a couple be involved with each other to keep it alive i try to communicate but we both shut down after we disagree and she says she just wont talk and do what i say i am not one to want it that way i want it to be mutual and loving and sensual please help, lost in love in indiana thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your input. anymore advice willstill be heded.thanks again
A
female
reader, Black diamond20  +, writes (12 August 2010):
See the thing is she had a lot of time to think about what she wanted ask yourself this question?if it wasn't for her loosing her job would she have even came back?see you are her back bone and now that shes down and out she needs you but not enough for intimacy shes only doing so much with you to get by then she wont take counseling usually it be the other way around you see she does not have time for you her intrest are someone else you love her but you have to do what you have to do have an open relationship try dating other people i bet she cant stand seeing you with someone else then she will come back and stop being so passive let her breathe play her game try to keep your self busy get out of the house when shes there try this for a month and she will come crawling ..ps let me know how it went bye!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 August 2010):
 No caps and a a huge run on sentence.
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male
reader, Cloverfield  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 My gut-feeling here is that your wife asked you to come back because she was on a downer. You say just before she called you she'd lost her job. Well, she was bound to be feeling pretty depressed, I guess money would be a worry etc. I feel she called you because she wanted something stable in her life. I’m not saying this was a deliberate 'using' thing, but in effect, that is what I thinks happening. My guess is that as the consequences of asking you back become increasingly clear that she'll continue to back-off.
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A
female
reader, xxmissyxx  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 i think she doesnt like you.. it can be that.. or becos of the fact that so much has happened between you two she cant forget it.. and its hard for her to just bounce back.. either way i agree you require physical intimacy so u need to talk to her.. tell her ur wasting both ur lives this way.. so to make up her mind.. but i hope you understand that she'll make a choice and you have to be strong and live with it.. if she stays, you have to work out the problems it cant happen overnight.. if she goes.. please dont look back.. and find yourself someone else cos she needs to make that committment.. ur going ok.. best of luck.. i know its easy for me to say.. so in the end do make a decision that suits you..
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