A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for 5 years now. I can't remember when we last had sex but I remember it wasn't any good. Sadly, I can't remember when it was since the beginning of the relationship. We have lived in a fairly new city for 2 years and he has had 8 jobs. I can't say I'm perfect either- I've had 3. Somedays, I love him so much, and then others I feel like I've wasted so much of my life with someone I have no intention of marrying or having children with. He is my best friend but I wonder if it's because we've never been seperate. I think there is a lot of co-dependence here and I don't know what life would be like without him. I have no doubt in my heart that he loves me more than I love him, at least romantically. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): Well I think you've answered your own question by the fact that you have no intention of marrying him or having children with him. Do you intend to marry and have childen at all? It sounds as if you do but not with him. Don't waste any more of yours or his time - you both deserve to be happy but it sounds as if you need different people. Although you are young, your biological clock is ticking - before too long you may realise you have left it too late if you just stick it out "for the sake of it". Only you know deep down if you want to stay or not. Do some good soul-searching, have a trial separation if you need to - that way you can both work out what you want but don't waste yours or indeed his life if you know you are not going to see it though.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): From what I can see, you are more dependent on each other than in love, you are in a new place with few other friends so you find each other's company comforting but if that does not extend to sex then there is something definitely wrong.
If you really loved each other you would be involved romantically too. It seems you are living together because of a lack of option. Why don't you try and creat a spark in your relationship in a romantic way. you probably love each other like best buddies than lovers. I feel either work to improve this relation ship or move on. you don't have to search for a new love right away or get in a relationship. Make a circle of friends, enjoy life as a single person and then someone you are trully attracted to and get along well will come along.
this relation ship seems to be going no where and you are probably afraid of what life would be on your own. You know being single is no sin and there is nothing wrong with it. You are the only person who can love yourself the most and if you have self-esteem than you can have fulfilment too.
good luck
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