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writes: i have a very close female friend who has a 8months boyfriend. she was really upset 2weeks ago because of her boyfriend. i was always there for her when she cried comforting her. she is fine and happy now. but she hasn't talked to me for 1 week now. i see her at school but she dont make an effort to say hi to me unless i come in front of her. i feel like i was being used. although she didn't mean it but she didn't know. she never phones me or talks to me on msn unless i start. whenever i do talk to her she is normal is fine. we meet after school once a week just to chat. she tells me everything. but i'm annoyed she doesn't bother phoning me or texting just to see how i am. i thought she might talk to me after 1 week but she didn't. although she thinks everything is normal but it's not for me. am i too kind to her? what can i say to her? i am really angry! i feel like shouting at her when i see her after school in 2days. when i shout what can i say? i dont wanna sound weak! thanks. i also fancy her. but she doesn't know. that's not the point. she should talk to me like a good friend at least once a week even though she see's me in the classroom next door all week and i'm on my own. it's always me makin the effort!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): you need to start spending time with other girls. and don't call her or email her. if she emails you don't email or text her back. And when she sees you and asks you why you havent responded to her. just be polite and say that you have been kinda busy lately. don't be willing to give her your time so egarly. soon she will be chasing you down.
A
female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 During one of your chats mention to her how you are feeling. Ask her why she's being offish with you. Maybe there's a good reason, you never know until you ask. So bear that in mind when you ask her. You might make things worse by asking her when you're angry.
As for what to say to her: Say something like..."Hi. How are you today? Is everything ok? (wait for her response). Do you mind if I ask you a question? (wait for her response). You and I are friends right? So why haven't you been calling as much? Why am I the one to start the conversation on MSN? Are you avoiding me? Have I done something wrong? I hope I'm not overeacting or jumping to conclusions. It's just that I feel hurt by this and would like some answers."
Of course you don't have to say it like this word for word! :) But if you do it in a way similar to this you'll get your point across but you will sound calm and understanding but firm at the same time without getting angry. Talk it out don't fight it out. :)
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