A
female
age
30-35,
*IFEisDUMB3
writes:okay. i started hanging out with this girl [lets call her lola] um so she introduced me to her friends. and then one that i hadnt met, she started going out with him [lets call him bob] so the first time i saw him i was with friends in our town but not with lola. and i saw him, and i told my other friend "hes cute" or whatever, then like 10 minutes later i find out it was "her boyfriend" bob,so we hung out like a week more, and then they broke up. they werent serious, they only went out for about 2 weeks she said she didnt care, SO we all hung out more, but the group didnt wanna hang out with her cause of this other situation. but i still did. except one day, i hung out with the group. and me and bob, started growing more flirtatious. but i would never do anything with him if it wasnt okay with her. but the next day we were all at a party together and when bob was leaving he said out loud that he needed to talk to me, so if i could take a walk with him. i was leaving at the same time with my other friend anyway so i went. i even gave her a hug goodbye and she didnt seem mad. then when i left people told me she was all mad, and said she wanted to fight? i think fighting is stupid, especially over such a dumb situation. when we were talking i even told him nothing is gonna happen unless im sure shes okay with it. soo what do i do now? i dont wanna fight her. thats stupid. help? was i wrong?
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male
reader, Artfuldodger08  +, writes (23 December 2010):
I do not believe that you did wrong in this situation, if anything you are proving to be a good friend. You and Bob seem attracted to each other yet you aren't willing to follow it up out of respect to your friend even considering they went out for two weeks and she didn't care about it that much which is admirable.
There could be a number of reasons she seemed mad. It could be gossip going around the group, people are only human and as harmful as it is to be on the receiving side of gossip, it doesn't stop people. Another could be that (if you were drinking) that it was drunk talk that she wanted to fight you. Have you spoken to her since that night? If so gauge her responsiveness to your conversation, if she seems off with you she may be mad or just flat out ask her about it. Bring it into discussion and ask her whether or not she would be mad about it, but make sure she is fully alright with it first. If she is not then the question that you will have to ask yourself is whether or not this friend means more to you than what could potentially happen with Bob. I hope this has been of help to you. Best of luck with your situation.
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